Frigga

If Frigga had hoped her agreeing to Sapphire’s contract would bring an end to the stampede of guilt that saddled her, she was disappointed. If anything, she felt worse. Instead of just plain guilt, she now had grief as her constant companion. It was for the best, so why did it feel like the end? It felt like Frigga had signed her own death order and branded her skin with it.

She ran a finger over it, her face blank. It had been a few days since the new accessory had been so generously gifted to her, though how many exactly Frigga wasn’t sure. She knew for sure it was more than two, but whether it was two days or two months it made no difference. She was going to stay in this room until next month’s meet unless she was required by her coven but not for anything else. What would the point be? To see people? Frigga didn’t want to see anyone. To play botanist? She’d thrown out all of the flowers in her room the day after her contract was struck because having them near was too painful. She would never garden again, it would only serve to break her heart more than it already was. She didn’t deserve it, playing around like a child in the flowers and dirt.

Frigga leaned her head on the window pane, her eyes blankly staring down Thorneheart Manor’s drive. Someone was leaving, looked like the postal service worker had dropped off an express note, and his horse kicked up dust as it trotted away.

Not that she cared. Nobody would have anything to say to her. Nobody would miss her if she just disappeared one day. Sure, they’d miss the Thorneheart Heir Apparent, but not her. But because of the harm she’d inflict on others if she abandoned her role, Frigga would stay. Any attempt to escape was pointless, it would just end in her doom or death as the contract had said. Doom was so vague, it could mean a thousand horrible existences, but death? Death was starting to sound like her only option for finding freedom now. Frigga tried to stay away from such dark thoughts, but once or twice she caught herself measuring the distance from her room’s window to the cobblestone tiles below. It wasn’t high enough and would only end in her irreparable injury, not freedom.

Her stomach grumbled and twisted. Frigga ignored it again. Food had lost all appeal and the thought of it made her sick. Doris would likely be bringing lunch in shortly for her to reject again. Maybe she wouldn’t reject it today. Even if it had a flower on it from the garden, perhaps she’d let it sit for a while. Even now, even with her fate so immovably entrenched, Frigga couldn’t help but want to enjoy the things Razi sent up to her. Every evening the tray had a flower or small trinket on it that was unmistakably from the woman she’d lost. She was so spineless that she couldn’t even see Razi, never mind tell her that any sliver of a chance they had to be happy together had been utterly destroyed because of Frigga’s actions.

What was wrong with her? Frigga couldn’t even stand to look at her own reflection. Why couldn’t she just shove this heaviness away and get on with things like other people must do? She couldn’t be the only one who felt like this, why was she so weak mere emotions disabled her so? She longed to return to her life as it had been weeks ago. She wanted to go where she wanted and love who she wanted and be who she wanted to be, but she couldn’t so why bother imagining? She had done this to herself, and it was her fault her brother had nearly died. Yet she was so defective she couldn’t face her own responsibilities. Pathetic, disgraceful, coward. What was all that talent good for anyway? She’d marry Marcus, become the coven’s leader, have a few children, and then force one of them to do the same. What a vile picture, everything about it made Frigga’s insides writhe.

Doris entered the room and set Frigga’s lunch on the small table that she’d set up next to the bench when her mistress had taken up permanent residence on it last week. There wasn’t a flower on it, but there definitely would be on her dinner tray later. “Miss,” the woman said quietly, like if she spoke in her usual tone Frigga might shatter, “A note’s here for you and Lady Thorneheart from the express, but your aunt is visiting with Madam Downspire on coven business this afternoon, so I thought you’d like to read it.”

Frigga said nothing in reply and kept staring at the window. If she didn’t look at Doris, maybe the servant wouldn’t see how pathetic she had become. Doris curtseyed. “I’ll be back in half an hour for your tray.” She waited for a reply that did not come, so she turned and left after the silence.

Frigga looked at the note with heavy, stinging eyes. It was probably just someone trying to get her to weigh in on wedding plans or something to do with Rosalind’s upcoming succession ceremony. The thought of trying to help with either event was overwhelming, but not knowing was worse. 

She picked up the note and broke the purple wax seal to open it and there were two separate letters within, one for herself and one for Sapphire. There were in Marcus’ ornate handwriting. That’s right, she’d nearly forgotten; the man had come by the home yesterday to see her but had been turned away. Hopefully her fiancé wasn’t too upset.

Miss Frigga Thorneheart,

When I stopped by this morning, I was told you’ve been sick. I wish I’d have known, I would have written earlier, but I hope you feel better very soon. There is a matter I’d hoped to speak with you about in person, but as it’s the sort of news that requires timeliness rather than tact, I hope it coming in the form of this note is not an insult. I figured it would be better for you to know as soon as possible.

I’ve been considering this for a few weeks now, and after a lot of personal reflection and some unexpected events, I’ve decided that I can not continue our engagement any longer. Please know that everything I told you in the garden was true, I respect you a lot and in another life I think we could have had an amazing marriage. I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship going forward, I value it and count you among my closest acquaintances. I’d like to make sure it’s clear that my decision has nothing to do with anything you’ve done or not done, you’ve done nothing wrong and have acted as only the best women do. I deeply regret any trouble that this causes, I know it seems abrupt.

I imagine you have questions and I want to be as transparent as I can be. You deserve my full honesty. If you’d like to write back with them, I’m happy to clarify anything in writing but if you can wait, I’d love to have tea with you one afternoon in the near future. I’ve informed my staff that you have the priority of my schedule so any time that is convenient for you will be perfectly fine.

Your friend,

Marcus Magnus-Monroe

What?

She reread the letter, just to make sure she had read what she thought she had. “Not continue our engagement…?” she read out aloud. Her heart had begun to pound whilst reading the note, and her pulse throbbed in her ears. She was so scared to believe it but it was true: Marcus was cancelling the betrothal. She was no longer engaged.

Her chest tightened and vision blurred as Frigga clasped a hand over her mouth to keep herself from bursting with sobs or laughter. The tears she thought she’d run out of days ago ran down her cheeks and, before she could register her crying, her nightgown’s front was damp with her joy. Frigga’s hands trembled as she placed the letter on the table beside her, beginning to hyperventilate. No longer did she need to worry about losing the woman she loved, she was free.

Frigga needed to see Razi immediately, how many days had it been? She looked at the calendar and found that she hadn’t seen the woman in over a week. Would Razi even want to see her after being ignored for so long? Surely Doris would have kept the woman updated about what was happening, but to hear nothing from Frigga? She glanced at the clock finding 2:15. There was still time for a walk but, looking over herself, Frigga realized there was a lot of work to be done before she saw outside her room. Her arms were covered in bruises and scratches and her hair resembled a heap of straw. She hadn’t changed out of this night dress in days either, not since she’d woken up in it after passing out that one evening.

Frigga rang the bell for her attendant for the first time in days and Doris arrived faster than she usually did. “Miss, is something wrong?” she asked not calmly, her expression one of pleasant surprise.

Frigga cleared her throat and found her voice scratchy. “I need to be made ready for my walk this afternoon.”

Doris smiled the smile she smiled when she’d just overheard the juiciest gossip and was about to inform everyone within a square mile. “Should I request Miss Wood be ready as well?”

“Yes. Thank you, Doris.”

Doris curtsied and rushed away to inform Razi of her new task and tell everyone in the house, no doubt, that Frigga’s first request in days was to see her. In the meantime, Frigga put both feet on the floor and braced herself on the wall, standing slowly. Her legs also felt like dehydrated grass, brittle and one staticky handshake away from catching fire. She stood anyway and forced her self over to her vanity.

She was a tragedy. If her hair felt like hay, it looked even worse, rivalling any knitted shawl for number of knots. The smoothness of her skin had shrivelled into a tight, flaky surface and she hadn’t bathed in days so she probably didn’t smell great. Not to mention she hadn’t eaten or drank much to speak of in the last week so her complexion was the sallowness of stale bread. To match her arms, there were scratches on her forehead and cheeks, but Frigga tried not to think about the night she’d inflicted them on herself, instead she trained her attention on the stranger in the mirror.

As she attempted to run fingers through her hair, Doris returned a few minutes later with a basin of hot water and a mountain of clean cloths that she set down on the vanity. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, Miss,” she said, and she sounded so genuine that Frigga stared at her attendant before she could find a reply.

“A bit,” she creaked. “I’m sorry to worry you.”

Doris shook her head. “No, Miss, no need to apologize to me. I’m happy to help you.”

Frigga sighed and her cheeks warmed as she looked away. “I do need a lot of help.”

“Right!” Doris unbuttoned her own sleeves and rolled them up. “I’m up for the challenge. Don’ you worry, Miss Thorneheart, I’ve definitely seen worse in my day. Oh! And Miss Wood says she’s happy to meet you.”

Frigga’s heart fluttered before she intentionally squashed it. Honestly, she’d be shocked if Razi still wanted anything to do with her after being abandoned so abruptly. But as the woman was technically an employee of the Thorneheart Estate, she was obligated to comply with Frigga’s wishes so she was probably just going to escort Frigga out of duty today.

As Doris helped her out of the pit she’d fallen into, Frigga became more and more convinced that Razi was just doing her job by agreeing to meet her, that the woman couldn’t possibly want anything to do with her anymore after seeing what a coward Frigga was. She didn’t say a word on the subject to Doris, the woman already had enough new information to supply her rumour mills, but she did listen as her attendant prattled on about the newest scandal. Apparently a distant cousin of Lady Mildred Crestfall had eloped with the daughter of the Crestfall family’s butler, and Frigga wondered how Doris kept all these relatives of relatives straight. Frigga had already forgotten at least half of the family trees Sapphire had made her memorize because not only were these family trees tedious, but they were also worthless to her daily life. Perhaps the same could be said of Frigga’s encyclopedic knowledge of flora and celestial constellations, but those things were actually interesting. At least Doris’ scandal was distracting enough for Frigga to keep her growing anxiety in the back of her consciousness for the time being.

Finally, an hour and a half later, Frigga was clean, tidied and dressed. Doris picked out her simplest dress, a navy blue frock with white embroidered flowers dotting the fabric. Frigga wouldn’t be getting dirty today, she’d be lucky if she even made it to the garden before Razi had made her disdain of Frigga known, but at least she would be comfortable whilst her heart was being broken. She had Doris lace up her shoes before, for the first time in over a week, she left her room.

She slowly descended the steps while trying to formulate her apology to Razi. If she said the right things, maybe the woman would give her another chance? Maybe she wouldn’t hate Frigga at least? But by the time she got to the bottom of the staircase, Frigga knew with all the confidence in her heart that Razi would never forgive her, that Razi hated her, and that Frigga deserved to be hated for being so spineless. She wanted to run back to her room, she wanted to hide, but surely that would make this worse, surely Razi deserved to know why she’d been shunned so suddenly. What if the woman was blaming herself? Frigga rounded the corner and hugged the wall as she neared her heartbreak. Even if Razi hated her, Frigga had to see her one more time. 

At last, the back veranda came into view and Razi was there, leaning on the railing looking out on the property. Frigga took a deep breath and rallied what broken shards of courage she had left to compel herself forward. Razi turned and Frigga froze under the woman’s eyes. Please, Frigga wanted to say, please, let me explain before you go. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.

She didn’t get the chance to explain, apologize, or say a single word before Razi had caught her up tightly in her arms, holding on like Frigga would fall to pieces if she let go. Frigga was going to fall to pieces anyway because she could not register Razi’s impossible response.

“Fuck, Frigg,” Razi breathed, and was she crying too? Had Frigga made this muscular, resilient woman weep? “Fuck, I’m so glad you’re alrigh’.”

Frigga shakily embraced Razi and wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist. “I’m so sorry,” she squeaked as her hoarse voice cracked. “I’m sorry, Razi, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop it,” Razi said as she pulled back just enough to cradle Frigga’s face in her palms. Razi looked scared, relieved, tired, a dozen other things, and all those things were staring right through Frigga. “You don’ need to apologize, you’ve done nothin’ wrong. Come on.”

Before Frigga could protest, Razi had her hand and was leading her outside, grabbing the basket she always prepared on the way. Razi’s hand was as strong as it ever was, the warmth a blanket over her own icy hand, and Frigga tried to let the simple strength of Razi’s hand ground her. Razi didn’t hate her. How? How did Razi not hate her after everything Frigga had done?

Razi guided them to a shady corner of the garden and rolled out a red and white plaid blanket under Frigga’s favourite willow. A pleasant breeze whispered through the boughs and a bird sang from a few trees over. Silence was punctuated with the distant splashing of the nearby water fountain and the faint bouquet of the bursting roses perfumed the air. As the sun washed over Frigga’s skin, the world’s warmth began to seep back into her.

She was made to sit on the blanket next to Razi who began pulling snacks out of the basket as if to tempt the witch into eating. “I don’t understand,” whispered Frigga, listlessly staring at the cucumber sandwich that was pressed into her hands.

Razi chuckled lightly. “Seems t’ be what happens in this garden, you not understandin’ stuff.” Razi looked to Frigga pensively. “What’s got you confused today?”

Frigga met Razi’s eyes, and the woman’s lighthearted affect prodded the open wound in Frigga’s chest. “Why don’t you hate me? I abandoned you!”

Razi’s brow furrowed and she frowned. “Frigg, you didn’t abandon me, you were sick.”

Frigga shook her head emphatically. “I wasn’t sick, I was hiding.”

“Hidin’ from what?” Razi nodded at the sandwich in Frigga’s hands, prompting her to eat it.

Which Frigga ignored. “Everything I did.”

Razi brought out a canteen of water and tucked it next to the witch. “You didn’t do anythin’ wrong. You were sick.”

“I just said-“

“No,” Razi interrupted as she shuffled closer to Frigga, a cookie for herself in hand, “you were sick. Dor’s been tellin’ me what’s been goin’ on, and whatever it is that ‘appened a week ago, it’s got your mind sick. An ‘ealthy person don’t bite ‘erself or tear out ‘er own ‘air.” She took a bite out of the cookie and wrapped an arm around Frigga’s waist, gently rubbing her back.

Frigga stared bitterly at her sandwich. She was starting to consider inhaling it, but she was still so lost. “I still don’t understand how you can forgive me like this. I ruined everything.”

Razi brushed her finger over Frigga’s contract seal. “Wit’ tha’?”

“Yes.”

Razi snorted derisively. “Tha’ stupid thing’s not gon’ make me stop lovin’ you, whatever it is. Takes a lot more than tha’.” Frigga froze. Razi loved her? She still loved her? She would have to if she hadn’t given up on her. Razi nudged Frigga’s hands gently. “Come on, love, you’re gon’ eat something’ today. You can’t keep doin’ tha’ to yourself.”

Frigga huffed and tentatively nibbled at the corner. It was perfect like a spring day wrapped in a cloud, Razi always picked the best vegetables and baked the fluffiest breads. The more she ate, the happier Razi became, so she ate half the sandwich and started nibling on the strawberries as they were gifted to her.

Frigga drew in a shaky breath. “I got a letter, and I think you should read it.” She pulled out the note from Marcus and handed it to Razi who looked at the note with narrowed eyes, like the paper would turn into a venomous snake at any second.

But she took it and, as Razi read it over, her eyes grew wide. “So tha’s why tha’ guy stopped by yesterday,” she murmured. The woman dropped the letter and covered her face with a palm, but Frigga spied the woman’s astonished expression beneath it. “He’s just fuckin'… lettin’ you go? Quick, pinch me or else I’m gon’ start thinkin’ this isn’t actually ‘appening! I  wonder why, though, “unexpected events”’s pretty vague.”

Frigga smiled for the first time in weeks. “I won’t pinch you, and I don’t know why but… It’s over.”

Razi looked up at her and stared briefly before abruptly pulling Frigga in for a hug, almost knocking the strawberries over. Frigga happily returned the embrace of her lover, accepted the kisses and the affection Razi offered her. She had been given this gift and was never going to let it go again. They held each other for so long and only let go because Frigga’s stomach growled embarrassingly loud. 

“Miss Frigga, your tenant would like a word,” Razi joked as she lightly prodded the witch’s stomach. Frigga laughed and Razi handed Frigga another strawberry.

“I’m still stuck, though,” Frigga sadly said, hesitant to end the celebration.

Razi frowned and looked at Frigga’s right arm. “Wha'… Wha’ is it? Gert said it was a contract o’ some sort, but I don’ really get it.”

Frigga considered how best to explain; this was a complex subject and far from her area of expertise. “Essentially, I promised my aunt something, to go through with becoming the Heir, and the promise was reinforced magically in this seal. If I break it, there are consequences.”

Razi grunted irritably. “Is…is there any way of getting tha’ thing off of you?”

“Not that I know of.”

Razi growled and leaned her head on Frigga’s shoulder. “Can I… can we jus’ go?”

Frigga tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

Razi inhaled deeply as if bracing herself. “Let’s jus’ run, get away from ‘ere. It’s not right for you t’ be forced t’ stay.” Frigga laughed bitterly and looked away from Razi. What an idea. What a perfectly lovely, perfectly impossible idea. “I’m serious!” the woman urged.

“Yes I see that, Raz.”

“Why not?”

Frigga looked back at Razi and tried very hard not to lose her temper. “I can’t just leave my whole life, that’s ridiculous!”

Razi’s hand at her waist gripped at her possessively. “There’s nothin’ ‘ere for you, this place makes you miserable!”

“But the coven-”

“They got Lady Thorneheart and Leland, they’ll be fine!”

“So I'll leave Leland to get trapped instead?”

“Your brother wouldn’t want you to be miserable like tha, an’ you don’ ‘av t’ sacrifice your ‘appiness for everyone else. This is your choice.”

Choice, something Frigga hadn’t had in a long time. Had she ever? When was the last time she had a say in anything that happened to her? Her schooling, her marriage, even the socks she wore on her feet were all picked out for her. And for what? Who was benefitting from this? Certainly not Frigga and certainly not Razi. She looked at her feet, closed her eyes, and covered her face with her hands again to hide the tears prickling.

Razi gently pulled at Frigga’s waist to hold her. “I know ’s a reckless thing t’ suggest. We’d both be leavin’ everythin’ we got.” Frigga buried her face in Razi’s shoulder and nearly crumbled when the stronger woman’s hands started running softly through her hair. “But you’re gon’ fade away if you stay, and I’m gon’ lose my job soon anyway.”

Frigga startled and looked up to her love’s face. “What do you mean? Did something happen?”

Razi’s eyes slid away from Frigga’s, her comforting smile devolved into a grimace. “Uh, perhaps your aunt may have implied tha’ she might know ‘bout this and maybe implied she wasn’t thrilled.” Razi chuckled nervously as she fished out a glass from the basket and poured Frigga some water from the canteen. “Possibly said somethin’ ‘bout not needing to worry ‘bout my career if I continued seein’ you.” At Frigga’s horrified expression, Razi shrugged. “You’re worth it.”

She wasn’t so sure. In fact, Frigga was positive she wasn’t. “I’ve put you in danger.”

“Ay,” Razi said firmly as she handed Frigga the glass of water. “You’re not responsible for your aunt any more than you’re responsible for the vampire lady’s batshit crazy plans.”

“Still,” Frigga murmured, gearing up to object, but she swallowed her objections when Razi shot a firm look in her direction. Instead, Frigga took a deep breath and sipped at her water, the coolness of it grounding against her frustration. “Even… Even if I wanted to run away, I can’t, not without some serious consequences.”

“What consequences?”

She gestured to her brand. “This. If I break its terms, I think it would leave me completely without my magic. That’s what it sounded like. I don’t remember fully, I wasn’t well when it happened.”

Razi’s eyes narrowed. “How th’ hell does tha' work?”

She wasn’t sure, there was a gap in her knowledge there. But if she didn’t know how it worked, maybe there was a solution she wasn’t aware of. A sensation dangerously close to hope stirred in her stomach, and Frigga couldn’t tame it despite herself. “I need to go to the library and see something. I have an idea.”

When they arrived at the library, Frigga rushed to the hutch the robbers had broken into weeks before. She pulled out an iron key from her pocket and opened its door as Razi set the basket down on the nearest table. “I thought I saw something a few weeks ago,” Frigga mumbled as Razi joined her. Technically a servant shouldn’t be near this thing, it was incredibly sensitive information available to the Thornehearts exclusively, but Frigga didn’t care. Most of it was in the family’s cipher anyway.

She ran her finger over the volumes of old books and leafed through loose documents until she found what she was looking for: a small book bound in green-stained leather and its gilded edges heavily worn. It was incredibly old, smelling of musk, and the paper was grainy beneath her fingers. Frigga gently opened it and skimmed through its pages delicately, as though they would disintegrate, and Razi curiously glanced over her shoulder, perching her chin on top of Frigga’s head.

“Chicken scratch,” she murmured.

Frigga giggled. “I might be a while. Why don’t you have a seat?”

She did, but Frigga remained standing. She paced for several minutes whilst reading through the worn tome until she sighed. “This is the right book, but I can’t figure it out. It’s all blood magic and oaths, but none of it seems to relate to anything else.”

“Thought you knew everythin’ ‘bout magic,” Razi remarked. Frigga looked at the woman and saw that, while her love was teasing, it wasn’t entirely not true. She continued, “What good’s goin’ to witch school if you can’t free yourself from a blood pact?”

Frigga grimaced. “This book has the formula for the spell my aunt used, but it’s incomplete. Or maybe it’s an older version?” Frigga resumed her pacing, silently mouthing the words she was reading. Razi opted to nibble at the remaining snacks while the witch scanned through the rituals, making a sound of dissatisfaction, rubbing her temples, or softly scratching at her arms in frustration every so often.

“Talk t’me,” Razi urged.

Frigga sighed again. “This volume is very thorough, and there are some caveats I didn’t know about, but those loopholes are so specific, I can’t see them being helpful at all.” She turned the book over in her hands and glared at it. “The ritual is about a hundred years old, so it might not be exactly the same as the one my aunt used, but from what I understand it used the promise I made as a kind of fuel, essentially turning it into a magical bind which would dissipate upon the promise’ completion.”

Razi was nodding along. She obviously had no idea what Frigga was talking about. “Tha’s rough.”

Frigga looked out the window. “It’s very niche magic, and I have only a basic understanding of it, not nearly enough to outsmart my aunt’s spell. Auntie Sapphire specializes in oaths and pact magic, and that is such a specific kind of energy transformation. I’ve never…” She fell silent, lost in her thoughts. Energy transformation…why did that ring a bell?

Oh she’d had a conversation with someone about something like that recently. Who was it? Energy transformation magic, who was working on energy magic? She could almost see where the conversation had happened, it was several weeks ago. It was at her birthday, who had it been?

“Frigg?” 

Frigga looked back to see her lover’s concern. “Who was I with on the veranda at my party?”

Razi blinked. “Wha’?”

“When you found me on the veranda, I was with someone. Do you remember?”

Razi squinted. “I think I saw you escape t’ the patio shortly after Vampire Junior did, and used th’ excuse. Tha’ sound right?”

Frigga’s heart bounded with adrenaline like a horse galloping through a field, leaving her breathless. “I need to talk to Rosalind.”

“Why?” Razi was frowning furiously.

Frigga slid into the chair next to Razi. “This spell uses energy transformation magic. Rosalind told me that they specialize in energy work and was working with energy transformation work specifically, so I need to see them. Their family might actually have a similar spell and they might be able to figure a way out for me!”

Razi shuffled in her seat. “I dunno, they’re kinda dodgy. Whole family’s weird. You sure it ‘as to be them?”

Frigga looked at Razi and saw her discomfort. “What’s wrong?” She asked as she put a hand delicately on Razi’s shoulder.

“I don’t trust ‘em.”

Frigga smiled in an attempt to reassure her. “They’re not their mother, Raz. They’ve been nothing but helpful and polite since I got home! A little quiet, perhaps, but-”

“I know but…what if they are like her? If you tell them wha’ you’re tryin’ t’ do, who’s t’ say they’ll keep tha’ information quiet? I know they keep to themself, but…”

“Rosalind is the only one that can help me, Razi.”

Razi huffed and looked up at the ceiling. “Great, jus’ great. Should we bring blood cookies for th’ vampire?”

“I’m sure they’ll be very helpful.”

Razi looked back to Frigga. “Sure,” she replied, looking anything but.

Frigga sent a servant to the Bloodswell home to ask for a visit as soon as possible. She wasn’t optimistic as Rosalind was likely busy having just inherited their estate, but to her delight their answer returned with an appointment much sooner than she had hoped and they would receive her the next morning at 10:00. 

In the meantime, Frigga thought about what Razi had said; if it were her choice, what would she like to do most in the world? If she was successful and dissolved the contract somehow, Sapphire would be angered so Frigga wouldn’t be able to stay at Thorneheart Manor. She might have to flee Honeyshore altogether, but she’d have Razi to keep her safe if it came to that. Undoing the contract might not even be possible, so Frigga couldn’t make any solid plans. She couldn’t let herself hope, not yet. But what if she could be free?

To leave her life behind was a scary thought. Razi had suggested it as if it would be easy. She had been right, this life of privilege and politics made Frigga miserable, but could she just leave her brother to pick up the pieces behind her? Hadn’t she done enough to him? What if he hated it too? What would happen to the coven? And what would her aunt do to make her stay if she found out about Frigga’s escape attempts? There were so many questions Frigga would have to consider over the course of the next few days.

After Sapphire returned from her visit in town, Frigga visited to let her read Marcus’ note. The woman was shocked, and by the way the room’s temperature immediately dropped several degrees, Frigga could tell Sapphire was furious. Of course she was, the engagement had been the result of years of planning and for Marcus to end it in a note with almost no explanation or warning? Sapphire had contained her rage, but once the door was closed behind Frigga, crashing and screaming erupted from within and a flicker of harsh white light flashed through the door’s edges. 

Frigga decided she would stay in her room until her aunt was in bed.

A red rose adorned her evening’s tea tray. It was gorgeously perfect and incredibly fragrant. Frigga picked it up and touched its petals to her cheek lightly, remembering how Razi had held her earlier. She still couldn’t believe Razi forgave her so immediately. Not only that but she’d spent the entire week keeping tabs on her through Doris and sending small things up to try and cheer her up, all while hearing nothing from her for days. Frigga truly was the luckiest girl in the world to have found someone like Razi, and she would make it up to her. Frigga wasn’t completely free, not yet, but what would she do if she could do anything? If it didn’t affect anyone else, in her heart of hearts, what did she want?

She wanted to lie in the grass on a warm summer’s day, feel the breeze wash over her as it swept through the fields.

She wanted to revel in the magic that streamed through her blood, to grow in her power and connect with the earth in a meaningful way.

She wanted to hold her lover’s hand, to feel Razi’s skin on her own; to be by her side, to be faithful, and give that woman all of her heart and never make Razi regret giving hers.

That was her decision: if there was a chance they could be together, Frigga would do anything to make it happen. If she could find a way to, she’d take Razi and they would run. But where to? And how would that work? Frigga didn’t know anything about life outside Honeyshore or Bluehaven. There was so much she didn’t know, but her ignorance was exactly why she needed to go. She’d been hidden away from the world for too long, and Frigga was going to explore it if it was the last thing she did.

While there wasn’t a point to planning right now, Frigga decided she wanted to give Razi something special. She looked to her jewelry box, opened it, and traced over the jewels and gleaming metals. Most of the items were given to her by Sapphire on different occasions; the bracelet for her arrival to Thorneheart Manor, the ring for her fifteenth birthday, and the locket her aunt had installed with a small portrait of herself and her brother right before Frigga left for school. None of these things suited Razi, they were all so feminine and delicate, but her fingers paused on one item in particular.

It was a simple gold band, the single item that she had left of her father. Frigga remembered his rough smith’s hands had been so much bigger than hers. The ring had never fit her, though she wore it on her mother’s chain from time to time. What would he think of all this? Would he be proud? Ashamed? She felt that he’d be happy for her. Byron was a commoner a few towns over and had caught her mother’s attention when she was studying away at school. His family wasn’t poor, but they were tradespeople so Frigga’s grandparents weren’t thrilled when their daughter decided to marry him without bothering to ask their permission. Like mother like daughter, apparently. Frigga smiled at the thought. 

She picked the ring up. It’s simple smoothness shone in the candlelight and despite its small size, its weight was hardy and steadfast. It was still too big for Frigga, but… Would it fit Razi? Maybe. Frigga’s heart fluttered.

She made another decision.

Frigga held the ring to her heart and looked at the clock. 9:08. She wasn’t likely to see her attendants for the rest of the evening, most of them had gone home or to bed. She grabbed a dark lounge coat, sliding it overtop of her night dress and also slipped on a pair of socks as she cast a silencing spell on them. Never hurt, right? Casting the spell took more concentration than usual. Unsurprising, it was the first spell she’d cast in over a week.

She peeked out of her door and found the halls empty, though the lamps were still lit. Servants would still be performing end-of-day chores, but those were usually on the first floor near the kitchens. Her aunt was likely still awake, but in her own bedroom, so if she hurried Frigga could avoid being spotted entirely. She rushed through the hall, down the stairs, rounded the corner towards the servants’ quarters, and pressed herself against the wall out of sight; someone was humming nearby, a tune Frigga immediately recognized as Doris’. 

The attendant came closer. Frigga held her breath. If Doris caught her, there was only one explanation for why Frigga was here and she didn’t need word of her nighttime escapade getting back to her aunt. The humming got closer and closer. It abruptly stopped. “Oh, sugar!” The attendant hissed. “Where’s my?” She groaned and then, judging by the sound of her retreating footsteps, turned and walked back the way she came.

After about ten seconds, Frigga let out the breath with a sigh before racing her galloping pulse down the hallway. Doris could be back any second. She thanked her stars she’d put that silencing spell on her socks as she turned the last corner, finding the little alcove that had Razi’s plaque hung on the simple wood door. Frigga was relieved to see the light spilling out from under it; Razi mentioned that she was put back on the morning shifts almost as soon as the break-in had occurred so she was back on her usual sleeping schedule. Frigga knocked as quietly as she could while keeping one eye trained down the hallway.

The door swung opened and Frigga was treated to an irritated Razi who’s displeasure evaporated the instant she realized who was on her doorstep so late. “Frigga!” She nervously peered around the corner, checking for onlookers. “You alrigh’?”

Frigga nodded. “Are you busy?”

Razi ushered the witch in with a soft tug at Frigga’s waist and she swiftly shut the door with practiced silent swiftness. “Wha’s up, did somethin’ ‘appen?” 

Frigga took the opportunity to look around the room. She had been here twice before, though she hadn’t any presence of mind to be able to truly take it in either time. It was warm and well-loved, cozy in a way that felt more like a home than Frigga’s room ever could. “I needed to see you,” she said quietly as she ran a hand over the foot of Razi’s bed frame.

The modest suite had a small wood stove and sink in one corner and Razi’s bed and dresser in the other. By the stove, which was close to a window, was a low pine table and wearied armchair with its matching footstool, green with an out-of-date floral pattern, where it looked like Razi had been whittling something before she’d answered the door. The walls were made of the same plain grey brick that most homes in Honeyshore were built of and next to the door hung Razi’s jacket, her crowded keyring, and a pair of worn work gloves. The suite smelled like the fireplace that was only barely crackling and Razi’s cologne that lingered in the air.

Frigga perched herself on the footstool stool near the armchair and looked back at Razi. She stared at Frigga with a happy confusion that twisted her smile into something more pensive. “You can sit there, if you want,” she nodded to the armchair.

Frigga smiled and shook her head. “And rob the king of her throne? I would never.” She motioned to Razi with a “come hither” pull of a finger. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“It couldn’t 'av waited till tomorrow?”

Frigga shook her head again and Razi took her seat, a confident smirk on her full lips. “Y’know, Princess, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you migh’ jus’ like me, comin’ down ‘ere like this. Need me tha’ bad, eh?” Razi grinned, mischievous intention saturating the tug of her smile.

The witch contemplated the tease for a breath before replying with one of her own, “I just so happened to be down here and thought I might stop by for a visit. Mere convenience.”

Razi snickered. “Oh really? What was ‘er ‘ighness down ‘ere for at this late hour?”

“I was following a faerie. She promised me happily ever after if I followed her, but I lost her right at your door.”

Razi stroked her chin in a mockery of deep contemplation. “How curious, indeed. Well, I’m honoured tha’ my princess saw fit to grace me wit’ her presence this evenin’.” Razi then took up Frigga’s hand and placed a kiss on her knuckles.

Frigga beamed before stealing Razi’s hand back and returning the favour. “What are you making?” she asked softly looking at the project in-progress on the table.

“Nothin’ in particular, this jus’ helps keep me calm.”

“Are you nervous about going to Rosalind’s home?”

Razi grimaced and looked into the stove. “Yeah, Vampire might bite you and drain your blood, an’ then I’ll be out a lover.”

Frigga sighed at the joke. The Bloodswell family was known as the vampires of the Honeyshore coven for several reasons, most of which were unfair. The family’s necromantic magic might be the most obvious reason, but the label had more to do with the family’s jaded history; Victoria hadn’t been the first to resort to underhanded tactics. It didn’t seem fair to Frigga that the entire family be branded in such a way, though Rosalind in particular seemed to have embraced the stereotype. She didn’t want to encourage Razi with the joke, but she also didn’t blame her. “That would be a shame.”

“Yeah, especially ‘cause then I’ll ‘av’ta bed ‘er scary aunt if I wanna keep my job.”

Frigga was scandalized by the ridiculous line, but it was so ridiculous that she couldn’t help laughing. It was the first full-bellied laugh she’d had in two weeks and worth the stress of sneaking down here alone.

After she calmed Frigga looked back to her love, catching the woman’s warm expression. “I was actually thinking about it and,” Frigga said, a hand fidgeting with the ring she still held. “Did you mean it when you said you’d marry me?”

Razi leaned forward a bit, looking Frigga in the eye with a tinge of doubt. “You gotta be free t’ do it first.”

“But you meant it? Like, really meant it?”

Razi squinted minutely and her pessimism dissolved. She leaned back in her armchair and looked into the stove where the coals smouldered. “Y’know, my pa and I came ‘ere a long time ago.” She rested her elbows on the armrests and clasped her hands together over her stomach easily.

“It was just you two, right?”

“Yeah. Mum bolted after a bit, leavin’ me wit’ ‘im. They were married for a while, but I guess she jus’ got tired of it. Don’ really remember why.”

Frigga laid her hand on Razi’s knee but stayed silent. Razi didn’t talk about her parents much. She was on her own at fifteen after her father’s passing so she was fiercely independent. It was the trait Razi prized above all else, she’d said as such many times over the months, but it hadn’t been a natural gift. It was hard-earned, forged through grief and heartbreak.

“Honestly, Frigga, I’d be happy wit’ you, married or no. Doesn’t matter.” She continued staring at the fireplace, melting into the chair heavily. “Marriage doesn’t mean much t’ me, yeah?”

Frigga smiled and stroked Razi’s knee with her thumb. “I think I understand. Let me rephrase that, then…if I said I would run away, would you really run away with me?”

Razi’s eyes shot back at Frigga and the pensive weariness disappeared, replaced with bewilderment. “Wait, you’re askin’ if I meant it, tha’ I’d run away wit’ you?”

“Yes.”

Razi put both her hands on top of Frigga’s and leaned closer, her bewilderment turning to eagerness. “Wait, wait wait, are you sayin’ you wanna run away?”

“Will you go with me if I do?”

The eagerness tempered as Razi realized that Frigga was looking for a serious answer. Razi looked her in the eye, quirked her plump lips in an off-centre smile, and answered with a tender, “Yeah, ‘course.”

Frigga grinned and hopped up to seat herself on the chair’s arm and helped herself to a kiss. Razi embraced her, pulled her tightly against herself as Frigga’s hands ran over the woman’s neck and jaw. She knew Razi had experienced heartbreak in the past, she knew that the woman was used to loneliness and compulsory independence, and she also knew that her own situation had been isolating and demeaning to Razi. Frigga hoped her love understood how entirely she was loved, that she would never have to be lonely again, and that she would always be Frigga’s first and only choice. Frigga pulled back and whispered, “I have something for you.”

Razi’s eyes flickered to the hand that was still clasped around the ring and then back up. “You’ve been hidin’ somethin’ since you got ‘ere,” she observed with a witty smirk.

The witch blushed, her stomach suddenly whirling with nerves. “I know you said you don’t care about marriage but I thought, if we’re going to run, I should give you this before we do. It was my father’s.” She opened her palm to display the wedding band. “I’d like to marry you, if you don’t mind.”

When she saw it, Razi’s eyes widened, her jaw went slack; she may have stopped breathing altogether. But when she looked back up to the witch in her arms, Frigga saw the woman was spooked. “Frigga, you… you sure?” Frigga nodded, stroking her cheek with a thumb comfortingly. Razi let out a shaky breath and leaned her forehead on her chest. “I don’ know what’ll ‘appen in the next couple’a days, and I don’ know if I’ll even 'av a job in a week.” Razi straightened up again, and Frigga’s heart fluttered when the woman pressed a kiss to her knuckles before she continued. “But th’ one thing I do know is tha’ I’ll be marryin’ the fuck outta you, if you’ll ‘av me.”

Frigga giggled and cried as she threw her arms around Razi whose arms at her waist only pulled Frigga in tighter. They were as close as two people could be, lost in the warmth of each other, and Frigga couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so loved and safe. Even if the two of them barely fit on this ancient armchair, Frigga had no desire to leave Razi’s lap. With the way Razi pulled her ever closer, Frigga guessed the feeling was mutual. 

After an eternity that passed in a heartbeat, they parted and Frigga took up Razi’s left hand. “I know you don’t really wear jewelry, and I don’t actually know if this will fit,” she bashfully disclaimed as Razi allowed her to slide the ring on.

Funny enough, it fit flawlessly.

“’S perfect,” Razi murmured as she pulled Frigga into a kiss much more heated than the others had been. Frigga was more than happy for it and stayed in her fiancée’s lap. She wanted to savour every second of their stolen time, and she wouldn’t have been able to do anything other than kiss Razi in her joy anyway. 

Except when Razi shifted, hinting at Frigga to dismount. She obeyed only because Razi’s hands under her skirts had plainly declared the woman’s intentions. Frigga shifted, got off the chair, and pulled Razi out of it by the collar of her shirt. Razi followed her eagerly, reuniting their lips as fast as she could, and they blindly made their way backwards. Frigga ended up on her back on Razi’s bed, exactly where she ought to have ended up, and she scrambled backwards allowing Razi to crawl on top of her. As she did, she pressed kisses up Frigga’s body, practically growling with pleasure, until her lips were finally on Frigga’s neck, her jaw, and lips.

Razi perched herself between the legs that were wrapping around her. “Gods, you’re gon’ kill me from bein’ so ‘appy,” she confessed as she ground her pelvis against Frigga’s.

Frigga moaned and lifted her hips to meet her love’s. “No dying,” she breathed before Razi stole her breath away.

Soon enough clothes had been scattered across the room and they’d done anything and everything they’d needed and more. Frigga was covered in hickies and Razi’s back was decorated with scratches. After they wore each other out, Frigga sat with Razi’s head in her lap who looked like she was falling asleep. Frigga’s nails scratching at her scalp through her short, dense hair wasn’t making it less likely, but Frigga couldn’t be sorry about it. On the contrary, she was euphoric; for perhaps the first time in her life, she knew who and what she wanted. The darling woman in her lap was going to be her wife, a reality she’d thought impossible only that morning.

She glanced at the clock and chuckled nervously. “I seem to have ruined your beauty sleep, My King.”

Razi whined softly and reached her arms around Frigga in a sleepy hug. She didn’t stir beyond that, so Frigga lightly tapped her shoulder and offered up a prayer of gratitude for Razi’s obscenely perfect shoulders. “Sweetie, it’s 11:00. You’re going to be up in six hours.”

Razi groaned, hid her face in Frigga’s thigh, and blew a soft raspberry. Frigga quietly squealed and started unravelling the knot their hold on each other had created. Razi regretfully freed the woman and slumped off the side of the bed, but she immediately sat back on the bed again. “You’ve turned my legs t’ jelly,” she reported as she flexed and constricted her palms. “An’ my wrists.” Frigga laughed again at the sight as she began to gather her abandoned clothes. “I should’ve got married a long time ago if this is what I have t' look forward to.”

Where did her other sock go? “Nope, just marriage with me.”

“Ah, silly me. Lookin’ for this?” Razi held up the missing sock with a teasing smirk.

Frigga received the item as regally as she could before she started to dress. Should she refresh the silencing spell on the socks? It wasn’t likely that anyone would still be working, Sapphire usually went to bed at 10:00 sharp, and servants finished chores about a half hour after that. Frigga was so tired she wasn’t sure she had even a silencing spell’s worth of energy left, but it was worth a try.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Razi looking at her and Frigga realized she was being watched. “What?” she questioned, staring back.

Razi shook her head wearing a goofy half-smile. “Nothin’, you’re jus’ beautiful.”

Frigga’s cheeks warmed and she put on her nightdress to hide. She shouldn’t be shy immediately following such activities, but she was. Even if Razi’s mouth had been full of her not twenty minutes prior, straightforward praise was hard to accept. So she changed the subject. “Do you know how to braid?”

Razi blinked. “Uh, maybe?”

Frigga finished pulling on her clothes with the returned sock and sank onto the bed with her back towards Razi. “You’ve ruined it, so you will fix it,” she decreed.

Razi snickered and Frigga felt the woman come in close and she started running her fingers through the curls. “As you wish, Princess,” she conceded as she parted the hair in half. “This’ll require a divide and conquer approach, methinks.”

Frigga chuckled and let Razi get her bearings before asking, “Raz?” The woman hummed in response, so Frigga continued, “Where should we go, when we leave I mean?”

Razi’s hands faltered for a few seconds before continuing. “Maybe we could travel ‘round. You said before you wanted t’ see more of th’ world, right? Could be fun.”

That sounded perfect and exactly what she’d wanted, but “Sounds like we’re going to do a lot of walking.”

“Yeah, tha’s sort of wha’ ‘running away’ requires.”

Frigga grumbled and muttered,“Wonderful.”

Razi snickered as she tied off the first braid. “My apologies, mos’ fair and delicate Princess,” she teased, pressing a kiss to Frigga’s shoulder before continuing her quest to subdue the hair hoard. “Didn’t realize you were so unstable on your feet.”

Frigga playfully whacked Razi’s knee as Razi finished with the first half of her hair. “Be nice to me, change is hard!”

“I shall do my best, Your Loveliness.”

Frigga chuckled and let Razi focus on her task. She wanted to start looking through maps of the area when she got to her room, but the gravity of her day weighed on her mind. She wished she could stay with Razi for the night, but she’d mentioned earlier that Sapphire had actually threatened her. Frigga’s coming to Razi’s room at all was a stupidly risky thing to have done, so this would be the last time; she wasn’t going to get Razi into even more trouble if it could be avoided.

Razi tied the second half. It was time for Frigga to go. She turned around to face Razi who seemed content with the amateur job she’d done. The witch leaned in for one last tender kiss good night. Razi cupped her cheek and Frigga rested her hands on Razi’s chest. Frigga wished it could go on forever, and when it ended she looked into her lover’s eyes with an apologetic simper. “Sorry I kept you up past your bedtime.”

Razi smirked and shook her head lightly. “Nah, don’ apologize for tha’. I’d ‘av you ‘ere any time, if I could.”

Frigga quietly slipped back up to her room without difficulty. After silently closing the door, she trudged to her bookshelf. Why not take a peek to see what she had? She knelt to see the books on the bottom shelves. They had a fine coat of dust, and no wonder. Geography and political theory weren’t really Frigga’s area of interest, but she pulled out a tall, thin book that she recognized as a sort of compilation of local maps. Its fabric cover was yellowed and faded, the pages inside were the same; it had been years since she’d looked at it, but even then it had been prohibitively old. She blew off the dust and opened the book to a random page. If they were going to go, she was going to need to know the area, so Frigga replaced the book on a higher shelf for easy access. She would spend some time looking over it tomorrow so that she would be ready when the time was right.