Mort peered curiously over Numbskull’s shoulder as she finagled her way with utmost precision into breaking and entering.
“Are you um… are you certain this is a good idea?” Numbskull didn’t answer. How could she? Her fingerbone was up to its first joint in the heavy padlock fixed on the door in front of them. She certainly would have rolled her eyes, if she had any. How did she end up paired with this milquetoast?
Click!
The padlock fell away, and the dank smell of mildew washed over them as the door groaned open.
“Oh well done!” Mort exclaimed, then hesitated, “I still feel like I should tell you that this is very illegal.”
With her hand now free, Numbskull retrieved her whiteboard and scribbled out a response before showing it to him.
“It’s fiiiine. This is important work we’re doing, right? Just chill out and go with it. It’ll be fun!” Mort squinted his eyes as he read over the lines, then he coughed self-consciously. “Yes, well, I suppose you’re right about that. If I were to put a secret magical sigil anywhere, the water treatment plant wouldn’t be a bad choice.”
Numbskull nodded encouragingly, and sketched out another quick message for him.
“Right! Just stick with me, and if we run into a security guard or something, I’ll ‘spook’ him!”
“Oh dear. I wonder what you mean by that,” Mort quailed, but he still followed Numbskull as she pushed into the concrete building’s dark interior.
This was the outermost of the sigils marked on the maps she had found. The blueprint of the treatment facility was very detailed, but that wasn’t going to help them much. She didn’t know half of what the markings on the maps meant, and there seemed to be more than one layer of crisscrossing pipes and stairwells. That wasn’t surprising. Supposedly, this single location supplied water for the whole of the city, and dealt with it when they were done with it.
Numbskull would have wrinkled her nose at that thought, but for the obvious reason.
The clacking of her bony feet was matched by the clicking of Mort’s dress shoes as they crept inside.
“I really am very sorry,” he leaned up behind her and whispered, “I should have considered my footwear better for this mission.”
Numbskull waved the comment away and leaned forward, looking around the corner. Unsurprisingly, it was another dimly-lit hallway just like the one they had entered by. This one concluded in a stairwell leading downward.
“We don’t know what we’re looking for, do we?” her companion asked.
Numbskull shook her skull in return, and then pointed emphatically downward.
“Ah! Of course. If the miscreant didn’t want his work to be found, he would have put it somewhere below; somewhere not often visited.”
Mort’s complete understanding took Numbskull by surprise. She nodded, and grinned at him. This pale fellow might be more useful than she thought. At the very least, she didn’t have to do nearly as much writing with him along.
The light above them flickered as Numbskull skittered down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Moments later, the same thing happened again, accompanied with a loud “Thud!” from somewhere below.
“That… sounded rather close, didn’t it?”
Numbskull lifted a bony finger to her nonexistent lips, and then crept around the turn in the stairs and the rest of the way down. A room just to her left was lit, and she poked her skull in to look around.
Ignoring Mort’s sharp intake of air from behind her, she took stock of what seemed to be a security guard’s office. A set of green-backed monitors fizzled and buzzed with static in front of an empty chair with a dented cap forgotten on the desk nearby. A black duffel presumably held the rest of the missing guard’s belongings, but there was no sign of the man himself.
Relief was evident in Mort’s voice as he stepped up behind her and found the room empty. “Perhaps he’s gone to investigate-” THUD! “-that.”
The sound was closer this time. Numbskull eyed the duffel, more out of curiosity than greed, but decided against it in the circumstances and stepped back outside.
“It came from this way, yes?” Mort was pointing toward the end of the visible hallway, where it split into two paths. A dingy sign, written in dull corporate typeface, declared the left path to lead to “Storage”, while the right pointed to “Processing”.
The thudding noise, which chose this moment to echo again, was without a doubt coming from the left.
Making the difficult decision to eschew charades for now, Numbskull produced her whiteboard and wrote out her thoughts.
“You think Maggie put it in ‘Storage’?”
Mort gulped, but nodded. “That would seem to be a likely location for it, yes. Shall we… investigate?”
Numbskull gave him a thumbs-up, but then followed it up with another bone to her lips, signaling him to be quiet. Of course, that was only so possible given their various degrees of footwear. The sound of their walking wasn’t as loud here, however, its edge washed out by a distant roar that must have been rushing water.
Leaning stealthily around the corner, Numbskull gave a deep hypothetical frown as she discovered row after row of identical-looking doors. The cheap metal portals were distinguished only by the numbers affixed next to them. Coming up behind her, Mort did sigh.
“It couldn’t have been something simple, could it? Very well. Why don’t I take the end of the hall, my angular friend, and you can start from here.”
Numbskull didn’t bother to hide her surprise at the gaunt man’s suggestion. She didn’t have to, with her face only capable of the one expression, but she wouldn’t have anyway. Maybe Mort had a bit more backbone than she gave him credit for. She nodded twice.
“Keep an eye out for whatever is making that thumping, yes? We don’t have the ah… combat power of some of the other groups, after all.”
Numbskull watched him stride to the other end of the hall, and noticed that his left fist was clenched hard. She tilted her skull curiously. What to make of that? Probably none of her business, she decided, as she turned to Door 101 and gave it a yank.
Cleaning supplies filled every corner of this room. It was so packed with bottles and mops that she couldn’t even see the floor. Could she have possibly found anything more boring? With an annoyed jerk of her foot, she moved a bit of the junk around to get a look at the floor. No sigil.
She gave the door a look of personal affront as she closed it, then turned to the one opposite. Her skeletal fingers clinked against the metal of the door handle, but she never opened it.
In between where she now stood and Mort at the end of the hall, the ceiling suddenly buckled and crashed downward. A rush of fetid water flowed down and quickly coated the hall, followed by… something else. It looked almost like an insect, if any insect were human-sized and made of rubber pipes. The thing straightened up on two legs and faced toward Mort with unmistakable intent. As it did, something glimmered between the black tubing that covered its whole body. Golden, glittering, interlocked pattern turned and twisted in inexorable patterns just beneath its rubbery shell.
Numbskull was certain that she’d seen that very stuff before, and not long ago. That didn’t matter right now, however. Her heart was beating quick, wherever it was. A mixture of fear and raw thrill rushed up and down her bones. This thing looked dangerous, and Bunnyboy had to have chosen this time to go off with that edgelord rather than on her mission.
There was only one option as the creature advanced on Mort. She crouched her bony legs down in a ready stance while Mort yelped and scrambled backwards. The creature took a few more threatening steps, but didn’t seem to be in any rush to do whatever it intended with him. This was here chance. It was now or never.
Numbskull broke into a sprint, running as fast as she could in the opposite direction. Ignoring the cry of dismay that came from behind her, she skidded around the corner and back toward the entrance.
That had probably looked bad, but Mort would get over it. As far as she knew, their only chance was… right here. Her heels made a harsh screeching sound as she slid to a stop right in front of the security guard’s office. Wasting no time, she squatted down and ripped open the zip on the duffel bag. Numbskull wasn’t sure what she’d find. A gun? A taser? Something to use against that big galoot bearing down on her new partner.
The greenish light of the security monitors lit up her skull, casting sinister shadows as Numbskull grinned in earnest. This was even better.
When Numbskull made it back just moments later, she found Mort curled up on the ground as the creature lifted a tube over him, ready to strike down. The black rubber on its hands had split in several places to allow through an array of wicked-looking golden claws. Without giving herself any time to reconsider, Numbskull spun around and hurled the empty duffel as hard as she could at the monster’s back. The makeshift projectile thudded into its target with unsurprisingly little effect. It did, however, stop the creature still.
As the rubbery brute turned around, Numbskull checked that her helmet and elbow pads were securely in place. She faced it and grinned. Mort uncurled himself slightly, and gawked at her in shock.
“N-Numbskull? What are you wearing?”
Without wasting the time to answer, Numbskull stuck a single, bone-white middle finger up at the monster opposite her. Either it understood what that gesture meant, or it saw her as much more of a threat than Mort, because it dropped low and charged forward on all fours.
The beast’s claws lit up sparks on the concrete floor, a horrible screeching accompanying every bound as it launched itself at her with pure predatory force. Numbskull would have blanched, but she was already as bone-white as it was possible to be. With a silent hoot of glee, she threw the security guard’s skateboard on the floor at her feet and hopped on.
It had been ages since she last rode a skateboard. Not since she was a child and she would sneak out to bully the neighborhood children into teaching her. Adapting to her lack of body weight was more trouble than she expected, but she quickly found her balance again and kicked off with a quick series of pushes. As the stale air whipped around her skull and she rocketed past the sign and into “Processing”, she couldn’t help but grin. She’d always loved this feeling.
The beast was right on her heels as she ran up against a metal banister, but Numbksull was just fast enough to kick the board into the air and go for a grind. As she completely failed to land the trick, she had only the presence of mind to grab her skateboard to her ribs as she tumbled freely into the spacious room beyond.
She hit the concrete one floor below with an audible “Clack!” and an unexpected jolt of raw pain running up her shoulder. It made sense that her bones could still break, she supposed. That, however, was a problem for later. The pipe creature had barely slowed, and launched itself off the railing with a single mighty hoist of its heavy claws.
Numbskull turned the momentum of her fall into a roll, and miraculously came up on the skateboard skidding forward. Her pursuer hit the ground just behind her, claws shearing straight through the concrete. She wiped imaginary sweat off the brow of her helmet, but the creature was already picking itself up for another charge. That was a problem, but worse still was that she didn’t seem to have many options for escape.
She could tell at a glance that this was some kind of room where large amounts of water was allowed to collect before being flushed downward into the plant’s depths. The sluices leading up were closed off, but a pair of huge concrete pipes leading downward had their gates opened invitingly. This was probably a horrible idea, but what was undeath without a little adventure? With that charming thought in her mind, she kicked off and landed in the concrete pipe. Her bony knees crouched and she began picking up speed as she skated into the darkness below
The wheels of the skateboard made an urgent, hollow rolling sound that echoed around the concrete pipe as Numbskull raced down it at what she mentally classified as “radical” speed. It was almost enough to drown out the crashing, scraping noises of the creature right on her tailbone.
She had to do something, and quick. Judging by the sounds speeding up behind her, the monster was almost on her, and she’d learned just moments ago that, skeleton or not, she wasn’t invincible. A single swipe from one of those massive claws might…
Numbskull risked a look behind her, just in time to see her attacker leap from all fours. Mind racing, she quickly turned and caught the edge of the skateboard on the ground with enough force to jolt her into a new trajectory. The monster landed with concrete-crushing force where she had just been as Numbskull rolled up the wall and onto the ceiling.
There was one horrible, soul-rattling moment when it seemed like she was just going to fall on the grasping claws below. Then, her momentum carried her far enough to reach the downward slope on the opposite side of the pipe, and she rocketed past it again. That had been awesome.
The thing had no face, and no body language beyond “predator”, but she bet it was feeling more than a little confused. A wide grin plastered across her skull, she would have let out a whoop if not for a criminal deficiency in the voice box area.
It having come to a full stop just before, Numbskull had a solid lead on the beast now. She could hear it starting up again behind her, but here, just ahead…
The pipe opened up into a basin in a wide, dimly-lit room with an identical tunnel leading out on the other end. The sides of the reservoir were sheer, so there’d be no escape there. Twisting her skull back and forth to look for another way out as she rolled forward, Numbskull was suddenly struck in the sockets by a beam of bright light from above. There, on a catwalk above the pool, was the missing security guard! The light from his flashlight was enough to illuminate Mort’s sallow figure standing next to him. She waved.
“Oh my, Numbskull! You’re-”
“What the-”
The two spoke at the same time, and cut each other off. In a moment of stunned silence, the only sound was the skateboard cruising under her skeletal feet.
“Ah, ahem, excuse me sir,” Mort began again. Numbskull gave him a mocking look from below. “Numbskull! The guard here thinks he knows how to operate this pipe. If you can get out somehow within the next few minutes…”
That wasn’t a half bad idea! Even if she didn’t escape, what was the worst that could happen? She’d wash up wherever this line led. It’s not like she’d drown or anything. Nodding her skull, she put her finger and thumb together in an “okay” motion and showed it to the flashlight.
“I’m not an expert,” the guard shouted, “I’ve seen the workers do it once or twice, and I’m not even sure I should follow the instructions of whatever this ‘B.S.A.’ thing is anyway…”
As he trailed off, a screeching sound tore through the air. The monster had finally caught back up, and launched itself with fearsome speed out of the tunnel entrance Numbskull had left. Looking up at the guard on the catwalk, she jerked her thumb backwards a few times toward the rubbery creature bounding forward on all fours. In the light of the flashlight, she saw the color drain from his face.
“Yeah, alright. Let’s get out of here!”
“Yes, sir! Hang in there, Numbskull!” Mort waved apologetically as the two started running across the catwalk. That was the last she saw of them as the next tunnel engulfed her.
How long was this tunnel? Numbskull wondered to herself as she crouched low on the skateboard and leaned forward for all the speed she could muster. That unfriendly monster was still behind her, and close, judging by the grating sound of claws against concrete. She had no idea exactly where, though. This tunnel was far too dark. The thought that it might be right behind her, about to strike, made her marrow crawl.
A few more moments passed, and at each one she expected to feel jolting pain as the creature slammed into her and fractured each and every one of her precious bones. She had to change this situation somehow. It occurred to her that she did still have a spell tucked away, although it probably wasn’t a great idea in the circumstances…
With an unseen shrug of her cadaverous shoulders, she turned her attention inward and focused her mind fiercely. It was harder to do this without reagents. Harder still when she couldn’t speak. It came as a surprise, then, when light sprung from the tip of her index bone like a torch after only a brief effort.
Grinning triumphantly, Numbskull twisted her ribcage around to get a better look at her pursuer. What she saw, instead, was a huge claw, covered in the shredded remains of black rubber pipe, flying at her with terrible speed. Her jaw fell open in surprise, and she barely had the presence of mind to duck down. It would have been enough, had she not been wearing that stupid skating helmet.
The monster’s talon clipped the scalp of her helmet, and even that tiny bit of force was enough to tip her off-balance. Numbskull pitched forward, skateboard shooting off into the darkness. Her skull bonked against the floor, and her knees skidded against concrete. Thanks to the pads and helmet, she didn’t seem to have broken anything. Yet.
Numbskull had barely the presence of mind to roll out of the way as another attack impacted just where she was. Was this it, then? She had been cocky, she knew, but she’d always gotten out of tight spots before. At least, she mused, her death would make for a seriously awesome story in the afterlife.
Scrambling on the ground as the monster recovered its momentum, she saw something that offered a bare glimmer of hope. A barred grate in the floor of the tunnel. The space between each greenish metal pole would have been too narrow for any person or monster to fit though. A skeleton, though… She might just manage it.
Throwing up her hand with another rude gesture for the creature, she rolled around on the ground and heaved her lower bones straight through the grate.
It was working! The damp bars scraped against her ribs, but she slipped down like a charm until, with a resounding “Clunk!”, she stopped. Numbskull’s jaw swung open again, this time in an expression of utter, morbid despair. The helmet! Her skull was just slender enough to make it through the gap, but the skate helmet’s added girth had gotten her stuck.
She reached up with desperate hands, but it was too late. Two enormous golden claws jutted through the bars on either side of her head and began to close down. Numbskull tried to scream, but could suck down no air. Sure, she had wanted to quit her life as Edda White, but she’d never wanted to die!
Just as she felt the cold, inhuman touch of the beast’s talons upon her skull, something else resounded through the chamber. It was a rushing sound, a roaring that rapidly grew to a crescendo as something immense rolled down the tunnel toward them. The next thing she knew, the claws were gone from her head and she was embroiled in a twisting, violent torrent of water.
Numbskull fought for breath, then experienced a moment of realization and simply hung still as it happened. The strangest part, she reckoned to herself later, was the sensation of water rolling around in her eye sockets as it flowed past, over, and through her skeletal form.
Eventually, it was done. The flow of water stopped, and Numbskull was left swinging slowly back and forth from her helmet. Her heart, absent as it was, felt like it was beating a thousand times a second. That was, by far, the most danger she’d ever been in, and she was having a hard time deciding whether to dance a jig or curl up and weep. Instead, she just swung there for a time.
It was hard to tell how long had passed, but eventually she heard wet footsteps in the tunnel above her.
“...buddy, even if she was here, she’d be long gone after that big flush.”
That was the guard’s voice. He sounded exhausted and exasperated in equal measure. Numbskull couldn’t blame him.
“I refuse to leave until we’ve checked every inch of this place,” another voice quarreled, “You see this badge, yes? I, well, that is, I order you to help me look.” That was Mort, for certain. His voice was as thin as the rest of him, but there was a powerful note of determination in it. Numbskull grinned for the first time since she’d nearly bit it.
“Yeah, I’m still not sure how much authority that- Hey, look at that! It’s my helmet!”
Numbskull stuck one of her arms up through the grate and wiggled it around. She heard Mort heave a sigh of relief so emphatic that it echoed in the enclosed space.
Getting her out was more of an ideal than she would have expected. While she’d slipped down into the grate with no problem before, now she seemed to get tangled up at every turn. Eventually, with all three of them working together, she was free and on solid ground once again.
Numbskull turned to Mort, and was totally unprepared when the exhausted man gathered her bones up in a hug. Not knowing what to do, she raised a skeletal hand and patted him a few times on the back until he let her go. She gave him an awkward thumbs-up, then turned to the guard and pointed at the helmet on her head.
The man gave her a look of utter bewilderment, so she heaved her shoulders up and down in annoyance, and fished around for her whiteboard.
“This yours, ‘buddy’?”
“Er… Yeah. What about my board?”
Numbskull gave a hopeless shrug, and pointed down into the yawning blackness of the pipe beyond.
“Right, well… I guess that’s not the worst thing that could have happened. It’s been a heck of a night.”
“Ah, well,” Mort said, adjusting his white coat and looking back up the pipe, “We’ll be getting out of your hair then. Thank you very much for your assistance and all that.”
“Oh no no no,” the guard shook his head, laughing humorlessly, “You two are coming with me while I call the police. There’s no way I’m keeping my job otherwise.”
Mort grimaced, but he acquiesced. “Ah, well. It would probably be good if Sergeant Aguado heard about this anyway, so…” He glanced to Numbskull, who was busy dumping water out of the helmet and taking off her safety pads. She gave him another thumbs-up.
