A few nights later, Daniel and Annie stood near the entrance to a large, blocky building somewhere downtown. Far from the elegant manor that had hosted their first event with Oliver White, this was a much more urban and modern venue. Music thrummed from inside. It was a heavy beat that ran through the sidewalk and up through Daniel’s feet all the way to the ends of his ears. The hairs on their very tips trembled in time with the music. From one of the windows, colored lights flashed in a sporadic rhythm.
He reached up to loosen his collar, as was his habit, but found his hand instead buried in a large, puffy cravat. As Daniel dropped his arm, it bumped noisily against the ridiculous giant pocket watch affixed by chain to his side. All in all, he felt quite silly, but Annie had insisted on a themed costume for them as a couple. He looked over to his wife, who wore an expression of restrained excitement under a puffy fake mustache.
“Do you think Oliver White owns this building too?” he asked, more to fill the air than out of any real curiosity.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Annie responded, leaning over to straighten the prop on his side, “He was invited to this event, not the host.”
“I learn something new every day,” Daniel muttered, “And tell me one more time who we’re meant to be?”
“I don’t know why you can’t seem to remember this,” she chided him, “You’ve read Alice in Wonderland, haven’t you? I’m the Mad Hatter, and you’re the March Hare.”
“Yes, well, most couples would have just gone as Alice and the Cheshire Cat or something,”
“You’re just jealous because I get to wear the top hat tonight.”
Indeed, Annie was wearing Daniel’s brown top hat on her head with a matching suit tailored to her slimmer figure beneath. The holes cut out for Daniel’s rabbit ears were barely visible and he had taken the badge off to put in his own pocket. He had to grudgingly admit that she had aced the costume. Annie looked like nothing less than an insane haberdasher in that getup. He himself felt more than a bit silly in these ribbed pantaloons and puffy white shirt. Daniel had to wonder where, exactly, Annie had gotten her idea of what the March Hare looked like.
“Are you sure we’re meeting Numbskull here?” she asked, running her fingers idly through the bushy false whiskers.
Daniel pulled at his own, very real whiskers thoughtfully before answering, “I’m positive, but there’s no telling with her. She’s probably up to something, so if she doesn’t show in the next ten minutes or so, I say we don’t keep Mister White waiting any longer.”
Annie agreed with that, so the two found a comfortable awning to loiter under. It was so dark already. Daniel wasn’t sure why the sort of people who attended these parties only did so at night. Wouldn’t they have more time to enjoy themselves if they started earlier in the evening? He was feeling a few slivers of fatigue poking at his own eyes, but the past two weeks with the B.S.A. had gotten him acclimated to working at all hours. Rather than give in to the temptation to shut his eyes, he instead focused them on the line of partygoers entering and exiting the building. Most of them were wearing the basic kinds of costumes you’d expect to find at a party store. It made him feel even more out of place in his comparatively elaborate outfit.
After another half hour of waiting, it was clear that Numbskull wasn’t coming.
“She probably got tied up somewhere else, or is playing some elaborate prank on us,” Daniel muttered, a tiny tinge of resentment lurking in his voice.
“Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt, or…” Annie trailed off as a tall, slim figure broke off of the stream of partygoers and stalked purposefully in their direction. With a wide-brimmed black hat hovering over a wicked beak and a pair of dark lenses, the newcomer was a threatening figure. His black cloak flapped in the night breeze as he pulled up near them.
“Ah.. um… Mister Hopper? And… Annabelle, was it not?” the slightly nasally voice that came from inside the terrifying ensemble was immediately recognizable as Otto Weissman. Daniel relaxed muscles he hadn’t even realized were tensed for action.
“Yes, that’s you, Mister Weissman? Incredible costume,” he remarked with total honesty.
Annie extended a hand, “I don’t think we’ve met personally.”
Despite the rest of his body being so covered, Daniel noticed that Otto wasn’t wearing any gloves. The other man paused, but responded with a nod and an overly-dramatic bow rather than take Annie’s hand. Fortunately, she seemed more amused by the spectacle than offended.
“I’m sorry about this, but Mister White is wondering where the two of you are. You were expected some time ago,” Otto explained.
“We were waiting for my partner. Numbskull,” Daniel offered with a helpless shrug. Otto looked about, the beak on the front of his face making a low whooshing sound as it swung this way and that.
“Ah, yes, the resourceful skeleton. Is he…?”
“She, not that it matters, and no. We can go ahead. She’ll catch up,” he caught Otto’s glass-covered eye and gestured toward the building. The other nodded his head, his plague doctor’s mask bobbing up and down dangerously. Daniel fought the urge to duck.
He exchanged a glance with Annie and found her just as ready, so the three joined into the stream of partygoers ahead.
Edda woke up with a pounding pain pulsing from the back of her head. She felt a momentary stab of panic as she realized she couldn’t see, then wiggled until her eyes lined up with the holes in her mask. She was still wearing the costume, then. That was very lucky.
Her memories were a bit hazy, but she did recall getting ready to leave the manor. She remembered being excited over the prospect of attending a costume party as Numbskull. Edda had put on the costume, but hadn’t shed her skin just yet. Then, as she was leaving, a sharp blow had smashed into the back of her head. She’d been carrying the whiteboard under her arm, and managed to scrawl something simple on it as they’d dragged her away. A second strike to her head had brought her all the way here. Edda could only hope someone would find that clue she had left behind and realize she was in danger.
The room around her was distasteful, to say the least. It was bare and dusty, built of concrete with a single metal door at the far side. By twisting this way and that she could tell that she was tied up, probably to a wooden chair. With her hands bound behind her back like this… no, she wouldn’t be able to use any magic. Not that she had that many spells memorized yet anyway.
Since she couldn’t do much at the moment, Edda rested her head back and tried to remain calm. Was this karma for making fun of Hopper getting kidnapped? There was probably no such thing, but it was almost funny when she put it in those terms. Then the question was… who would want to kidnap her? Her father had many enemies. It was entirely possible that one of them was trying to use her for leverage. They might be disappointed, she added in a bitter mental note.
The other possibility was that she was being kidnapped as Numbskull. That seemed pretty unlikely. She’d been careful with her “secret identity”. Up until the other night, that is. Would their enemies have worked that fast? Did they even have enemies? She wasn’t certain Caduceus counted.
Her line of thought was interrupted as the door opened and a pair of figures entered. One of them was a girl she was getting tired of seeing at this point, with that magical thing on her right arm. Amber, wasn’t it? Edda grimaced under her mask. The other man she hadn’t met before, but she knew the type. Tall. Husky. Bearded. This one had a bag of cheese cubes he was snacking out of, which was a little original at least, but she pegged him as a standard, low-cost goon.
These were working with Fake Caduceus, then? In which case, on the off chance they hadn’t made the connection yet, it would probably be a mistake to show them Numbskull’s face here. It would probably be a mistake, but… Edda found herself muttering the incantation to change under her breath. Was she escaping a frightening situation by hiding in her alter ego? Maybe. Maybe she just wanted to see the looks on their faces.
The familiar sense of flesh slipping away ran down her bones, and she shivered involuntarily. Edda missed what Amber said during the transition. Her ears were going somewhere else fast. It was a weird sensation, but one which she was more or less used to at this point. While the whole thing was happening, she tried to hang limp, as though she hadn’t actually woken up yet. It seemed to work, but she wasn’t surprised it was so easy to fool these two.
“You’re sure this is Edda White?” Amber was asking, as the other fellow made a lot of noise in the background. Numbskull couldn’t see exactly what was happening, with her head hung like it was, but it sounded as though he was setting something up.
“Yup,” the goon said. His voice had a garbled quality, as though his mouth was still full of something. Cheese, she guessed, “We nabbed her right after she got changed for that costume party Big White is at.”
“And you didn’t bother to check under the mask? I can’t see her wearing a stupid skeleton costume like that. It’s not convincing at all.”
“Why bother?” Clank! Something fell over and the goon cursed before continuing, “We knew it was her. Been tracking her all day.”
That would have caused the hairs on the back of Numbskull’s neck to rise, if she had any. How long had they been trailing her? How had she not noticed? Staying still like this was getting annoying, and the realization gave a shot of adrenalin through her immaterial veins. The restlessness finally overcame her, so she pretended to stir a little bit.
“Finally awake, are we?” Amber asked. There was a smile in her voice. Numbskull got the impression she was enjoying this far too much. She slowly allowed her head to rise, and looked between both their captors. She didn’t say anything. How could she?
“You’re a quiet one, huh? That probably won’t last long. Sorry about that,” the big goon apologized. He had just finished setting up a folding table next to Numbskull’s chair, and laid out a metal toolbox on it. That must have been the crash she heard earlier.
Amber walked over and opened the toolbox, then smiled with satisfaction.
“Now, you’re going to tell us exactly what we want to know, Edda White, or else-” Amber ripped the mask off of Numbskull’s face. Its garish white skull fell away to reveal… another skull. Numbskull grinned at her as Amber stumbled backwards in shock. The goon choked on his cheese cubes.
Numbskull wished she was still wearing the sunglasses from their “incognito” stakeout before. She could have written “Deal with it.” on her board, but that wasn’t with her either. How disappointing. She settled with grinning at the two of them as hard as she could.
“That’s uh… that’s got to be some kind of trick, right?” the goon stammered, fishing around on the ground for his lost package of snacks.
“No,” Amber was recovering now, “No, I know that skeleton. Is that a stupid thing to say? It was there when we captured Hopper last time.”
“So…” the man scratched his unkempt beard as though trying to puzzle out a difficult problem, “Edda White is the skeleton? Or the other way around?”
“No, you idiot, how would that even work?”
Numbskull looked between the two of them as they debated. Not that she didn’t want to contribute, but she was in no position to do so.
“Er,” the goon shrugged, “Magic?”
“Why would the beautiful, wealthy heiress of the White family magic herself into looking like,” Amber motioned angrily at Numbskull’s morbid, grinning visage, “that?!”
The other man paused and then took another long look at Numbskull. “Good point,” he conceded.
Numbskull wanted to laugh. Someone had to get her out of here soon or she felt like she was going to explode from the hilarity of it. Sure, this was still a bad situation, but what were they going to do to her? Torture her? She didn’t have any nerves! It seemed like they weren’t up to the task of figuring out her true identity either. As far as kidnappings went, this one was going quite well.
The pounding music made Daniel’s ears twitch. From the soles of his feet upward, the beat felt like it was thudding through his bones. Someone offered him something red and sticky in a glass and he tried to politely refuse, but his words were lost in the noise, so he just shook his head and held up his hand. Annie was sticking close by his side as well. He was glad of that. He didn’t have to worry about losing her in the thronging crowd of costumed figures. Otto, at least, with his tall frame and swinging beak, was easy to keep track of.
When they passed through a curtain, down a short hallway, and into a more private room, Daniel was relieved. He unconsciously peeled his ears off the top of his head and squinted his eyes. This space was lit only by candles, and it was hard to make out details. The shadows massed and flickered on the edges of his vision. Just what kind of party was this?
“The March Hare and the Mad Hatter, I presume?” Oliver White detached himself from a gaggle of darkly-clad figures and strode over to them shortly after they entered. He, too, was dressed all in black save for a large white question mark scrawled over the front of his chest. An imposing mask covered the top half of his face, and the ensemble was completed by a pair of ridiculous fake feathered wings affixed to his back. By his manner, his presence, and his lion-headed cane, there was no doubt that this was indeed Oliver White. However, Daniel found himself completely unable to determine what the man was supposed to be dressed as.
Realizing that her husband was momentarily speechless, Annie came to the rescue. “Well spotted, Mister White!” she enthused, “I’m impressed you figured out our costumes so easily.”
“Well,” the other man favored them with a sly smile, “You aren’t the only ones dressed out of Carroll’s fables.”
“Er…” Daniel’s mind was racing, but nothing he could think of matched the bizarre combination of costumed parts now before him. He finally settled on the one other character he could summon to mind. “The uh… Cheshire Cat?”
Oliver White burst into a hearty laugh, but Daniel still wasn’t sure how to react. He knew he wasn’t right. Had his poor guess been that funny?
“No, Mister Hopper, no,” he said, with a flourish. On anyone else the motion would have seemed overly dramatic, but for Oliver White it just seemed natural, “I am the Snark.”
“Snark?” Daniel asked, uncomprehending.
“From Lewis Carroll’s The Hunting of the Snark,” Annie supplied, “It’s a name for something unknown but possibly very dangerous.”
“Very good! The Snark could be harmless or, as the poor Baker found out, it could be a Boojum,” Oliver nodded, “Your wife is quite knowledgeable.”
“Yes, well,” Daniel put a hand proudly on Annie’s shoulder, “It’s only thanks to her that I’ve gotten this far. She chose our costumes as well.”
“And an excellent job she did. I am a fan of Carroll myself, if you couldn’t tell. Unfortunately, however, I have not called you here to talk of costumes or fables.”
Otto coughed at that. It wasn’t much of a contribution, but it did remind Daniel that the other man was there. It was incredible that he could possess so little presence while dressed in that blatant plague doctor’s outfit.
“Yes, er, I was kind of wondering,” Daniel found himself scratching the back of his neck and forced himself to stop. When his hand was once again safely limp by his side, he began once more, “Why a party again?”
Oliver White frowned at him. “Is that so strange? I quite enjoy parties,” he briefly looked about, eyes conspiratorial under his mask, “Besides, they afford me the opportunity to speak to whomever I like without arousing any suspicion. You are still the heroes of the hour, Mister Hopper. It would be stranger still if I did not invite you to these affairs.”
Otto coughed again, more insistently this time.
“Of course, I am allowing myself to get distracted again. Mister Hopper, I would like for us to continue our conversation from the previous night.”
“Sure, Mister White,” Daniel said, but even in this side room he felt exposed, “Is this the right place for that?”
“None better,” he motioned to the black-clad figures, who took his gesture as a command and dispersed via the opposite door, “We are alone but for Otto, and he has my complete trust.”
“Alright then,” he nodded. Daniel was waiting to see if Oliver would ask Annie to leave as well, but he never did. Instead, he placed his cane on the ground and folded his hands over the lion’s head solemnly before speaking again.
“Mister Hopper, I would simply like your assurance that you will not pursue Caduceus any further, nor try to arrest him.”
Daniel had to suppress a frown. It was true that he had expected something like this. What better assurance could there be that Oliver White was involved with the villain? As an agent of the government, he couldn’t in good conscience let all this evidence slide. But… at the same time, he didn’t want to go after Caduceus either. Not after everything the supervillain had done for him. The conflict must have shown on his face, because Oliver White continued.
“I realize that is asking quite a lot of you, as an agent of the Bureau of Superhuman Affairs,” he narrowed his eyes, “But I’m afraid I must insist.”
“If it helps, we can appeal to your moral nature, Mister Hopper,” Otto chimed in.
“Are you claiming Caduceus isn’t a villain?” Annie asked with an inquisitive edge to her tone.
That caused an uncomfortable expression to cross Oliver’s face, but it was gone so quickly that Daniel was left uncertain he had seen anything at all.
“Not as such. It is undeniable that Caduceus has committed crimes. Trespassing. Destruction of property. Theft on a grand scale,” he emphasized his next word with a thump of his cane, “However! His stolen goods go to a good cause. I can assure you both of that.”
“I must also point out that Caduceus never kills,” Otto appended in a much meeker tone of voice, “Not once in his career as a villain, in fact.”
Annie crossed her arms. She still looked quite unconvinced. “Do you just mean that his minions kill for him?”
Otto took a step back in shock. Daniel couldn’t see his face under the beaked mask, but he imagined it would have been pale from the last comment.
“No, no, of course not. I mean that he does not kill at all. He helped you to save that apartment building full of innocents, didn’t he?”
Daniel could only nod, “That had been bothering me…”
“There you are, then!” Otto declared with a single finger raised in triumph.
“But,” Daniel hesitated, and put one finger unconsciously in his pocket where it brushed his badge, “I have responsibilities as well. I can’t just ignore it.”
“I think that perhaps,” Oliver cut in, his tone stern, “Your position is more secure than you think. You can turn a blind eye to Caduceus’ activities. Indeed, you will. If not for moral reasons then for more immediate ones.”
“Is that… a threat?” Daniel asked, certain he didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Not precisely,” Oliver White replied, his voice like ice, “But you know what happened to the poor Baker at the end of The Hunting of the Snark, don’t you?”
Daniel gulped.
“He softly and suddenly faded away,” Oliver raised one hand up and rubbed his fingers together like he was scattering dust, “Any Snark could turn out to be a Boojum, after all.”
“I… I see,” it was difficult for Daniel to keep his composure in the face of this. Oliver White was one of the most powerful individuals in the city. If he wanted Daniel to disappear, there probably wasn’t much even his super strength could do about it.
Annie grabbed his arm firmly. “Thank you, Mister White. This was very informative.”
“I hope so, and I trust you will pass on my best regards to Miss Bethany and the B.S.A., won’t you?”
“Yes, of course. Thank you for your invitation, Mister White, but-” Daniel quickly finished his sentence as his wife pulled ever more insistently at his arm toward the door, “We really have to be leaving.”
“By all means,” Oliver extended a hand magisterially toward the exit, and Daniel wasted no time following his cue. As the two left, his keen ears picked up one last snippet from underneath Otto’s mask.
“That was a bit harsh, wasn’t it?”
Numbskull grinned. Of course. She grinned all the time. But this time she meant it. The smoldering look on her captor’s face as Amber put away yet another implement from the bag was too great not to enjoy. This whole experience was bringing new life to her bones. The other woman cursed, and produced a pair of pliers. From the corner of the room, well out of the way, her goon looked on dispassionately. The bag of snacks was long gone by now, and by the way he kept wistfully looking at the empty plastic, Numbskull knew he wanted more.
“How about this? This has to work, right? Even a skeleton won’t like having its finger bones crushed.”
Amber took the pliers and set them firmly around Numbskull’s first finger joint.
“We’ll go over this one more time. You tell us what you know about Edda White, or I’ll pop off the tip of your finger.”
With one arm free of her bonds for the “torture”, it was that much easier for Numbskull to answer with an exaggerated shrug.
“What if it doesn’t know?” the goon asked. He was obviously bored.
“Of course it knows! You tried to kidnap Edda White and got this thing instead. That’s not something that just happens!” Amber was losing her temper. Numbskull would have rolled her eyes if she had them. As much as she was enjoying flummoxing these two, it’d be nice if somebody would hurry up and rescue her already.
“That’s enough,” came a new voice. It preceded its owner’s entrance into the room. He was a tall man, with lank black hair and a heavy brow. High cheekbones and sunken eyes gave his face an unsettlingly angular look. Even so, there was something familiar about him…
As he stepped into the concrete cube holding Numbskull, a dark cape flared behind him, clasped at the neck with some kind of gold-colored amulet. That was a bold look. Was she not the only one in costume this evening? Numbskull greeted him with a cheery wave.
“This creature may not wish to talk. She may not be able to talk,” the man produced a heavy leather-bound tome from underneath his cloak, “But I have been late into the night studying these works, and I believe I have a solution.”
Amber had her back to the newcomer, so he couldn’t see her rolling her eyes at his speech. Numbskull did, though, and she gave her captor a sympathetic incline of the skull. She knew what it was like to deal with overly-theatrical men in her life. More importantly, though, that book was one of hers. She peered over the other woman’s shoulder and tried to get a glimpse of the name on its spine. Most of it was covered by the man’s arm, but she got a glimpse of the words “...ad Magia”.
Numbskull slipped her skeletal hand out of Amber’s grip and pointed emphatically toward the book, then jerked a thumb back at her own skull. That was hers! Naturally, the man completely misunderstood. He grinned unpleasantly.
“That’s right, skeletal imposter,” he thumped one side of the book with his hand, “With this I will reveal your true identity!”
“Maggie, do we have to do this now?” Amber audibly sighed as she wrestled Numbskull’s hand back down to the armrest and held it there. That wasn’t hard. Numbskull wasn’t particularly strong even when she was Edda, much less when her muscles were out on vacation.
“Magnus!” the man snapped, correcting her. Numbskull grinned. It was too late. She’d be calling him “Maggie” from now on.
“I told you not to call me ‘Maggie’,” he continued, temper cooling a little, “Now, make room.”
Amber begrudgingly scooted to the side as Magnus strode over. The goon in the corner, with more presence of mind than Numbskull expected, ducked out of the room and returned with a stool for him to sit on.
“Now then, skeleton,” Magnus muttered. He leaned forward until his sunken eyes were level with Numbskull’s sockets. She wanted to stick her tongue out at him. Truly, the skeletal form was not without its restrictions. “Let’s see who you really are.”
The tome fell open on his lap with a heavy thud, pages fluttering to rest where he had inserted a wooden bookmark. Holding one hand dramatically aimed at Numbskull’s still-costumed sternum, he began to speak in Latin. That probably wasn’t good. She tried to jerk her hand away from Amber again but the other woman held it fast.
Once they were outside, Daniel took a deep breath. He looked to Annie, who was wearing a pensive expression over her fake mustache.
“That… could have gone better, huh?” he asked, twinges of nervousness still vibrating in his voice.
“Maybe,” she responded, “At least we’re clear on his intentions now, and there’s no doubt left that Mister White and Otto are both involved with Caduceus.”
Daniel nodded. That was a fair point. What they were going to do about it was another matter entirely.
“I’ll talk to Bethany about it in the morning,” he half-said, half-grumbled, “For now, it’s late, let’s-”
“Hopper! Pick up, it’s urgent!”
Before he could finish his sentence, a terse voice burst out from Daniel’s coat pocket. He jumped nearly a foot in the air at the sudden interruption, then managed to fish out the golden communicator Mort had given him. Clicking in the knob on the top, he spoke into the mesh on its front.
“Er… Officer Aguado?”
“Right. We need you over here at the White Manor right away. There’s been a kidnapping.”
Daniel and Annie looked at each other, expressions of horrified realization on both their faces.
“Numbskull!” they exclaimed in tandem.
“Hopper? Do you read me?” the scratchy voice of Aguado broke in again.
“Yes, sorry, we’ll be right over. Fifteen minutes,” Daniel clicked the knob back into place and looked apologetically at Annie. “Sorry. If you want to go home…”
She just rolled her eyes and stuck her hand at him, palm up. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
A short time later, both of them stood in the spacious driveway outside White Manor. With its tall stone walls and recessed windows, the building looked almost sinister in the flashing blue lights of parked police cars. Aguado was there, his usual smile replaced by a scowl as he held up a whiteboard for Daniel’s inspection.
On the board, smudged a bit from where it had been dropped, was a surprisingly intricate drawing of a skeleton being dragged away by two figures in cloaks and hoods. Above that, the word “HELP” was scrawled out, with the tail of the “P” trailing away and off the side of the canvas.
“How did she have time to draw all of this out?” Daniel asked, dumbfounded.
“Wish we knew,” Aguado muttered. He was wearing his sunglasses despite the late hour, so Daniel couldn’t tell where he was looking. Even so, he seemed to be glaring at the manor looming above them. “The White place has security cameras, of course, but they’re all busted. Not a single clip of footage from tonight left,” he turned his attention to the two of them with one eyebrow raised, “Any idea how something like that could happen?”
“Magic?” Annie suggested. Aguado frowned, obviously displeased by the answer, then turned to reply to another officer with a clipboard.
“I was serious!” she complained to Daniel.
“Yeah… I guess that’s not really public knowledge yet,” he ventured in response, “Or people aren’t willing to accept it just yet.”
When Aguado turned back to face them, his face was still set in a stern frown. “If you’ve got any serious suggestions, I’m happy to listen,” he paused for a moment, but continued when neither of them answered, “Right. I don’t care how you do it, but I need you to find Edda White. This is what we’re funding you for, right?”
“I don’t think that’s exactly…” Daniel began, but stopped when he saw Aguado’s expression, “Alright, but we’re not detectives. Where do we start?”
The other man’s face broke into an unexpected smile as he looked past Daniel. He turned to see Bethany exiting a car and thanking the driver before approaching them. “I’d ask her. She’s in charge, follow her orders.”
Aguado left to tend to another cop just as Beth arrived. She was sweating, and looked more than a little frazzled, but she was in a pressed suit and her hair was combed this time.
“Can’t we get a single day without an incident like this?” she complained, then looked between the two of them, “Hello er… Hopper. Annie. Is that what you wore to the costume party?”
“That’s right,” Annie responded, with slight tone of warning.
“Very original!” Bethany replied. From what Daniel could tell, she was completely sincere in the sentiment, and he relaxed a little. “You heard the situation from Officer Aguado?”
“We did,” Daniel affirmed, casting a quick glance over his shoulder at the Sergeant before continuing, “So, how do we find Numb- er… Edda?”
“I was thinking about that on the way here,” she crossed her arms and gave Daniel a piercing look, “You don’t have like… super smell or something, right?”
Annie stifled a laugh. Daniel felt oddly like he had failed some kind of test. “No, I don’t think so. I have good hearing, but my sense of smell is normal, I guess.”
Beth made a “tsk” sound. “That’s what I thought. We’ll have to go with my second plan, then.”
Both looked at her expectantly until she finally continued. “We’re going to ask for help,” she said with what he thought was an oddly big smile, “From Burning Sol!”
Daniel’s ears perked up at the name. That was a good idea. After all, hadn’t Burning Sol helped them find Caduceus’ lair last time? He seemed to have some way of getting where he wanted to go. “I wonder if that’s part of his super power…” he mused aloud.
“Sorry?” Annie asked.
“Nothing, but that’s a good idea,” he gave Beth a respectful tilt of his head, “How do we get in touch with him? Do you have his cell number or something?”
Bethany’s eager smile waned a bit at the edges. “Well, that’s the thing. I don’t have any way to contact him, but I do have another idea.”
Annie seemed to pick up on what she was saying faster than Daniel did, “We just have to get his attention, right?”
The other woman smiled at being so quickly understood, “That’s right! Fortunately, we’ve got someone here who really stands out.”
Both Annie and Bethany looked at Daniel, who felt the sudden urge to loosen his tie again. The fact that he was still wearing the cravat did nothing to lessen his anxiety. “Ah…” he managed, not sure at all he liked where this was going.
A cold wind whipped through Daniel’s hair and plastered his long ears to the top of his head as he climbed to the top of the office building’s tallest point. This was insane. It was ridiculous. He felt like an utter fool, standing up here dressed up like some kind of pompous Victorian rabbit. Still, he had to admit that he didn’t have any better ideas.
Looking around, the city stretched out below him. It was dark now, but the streets were lit by ample lights and the steady lights glowing from the windows of each building were enough to sketch out a rough map. Numbskull could be in any of those, and she had come to help him when he was in a similar situation. He felt like he should at least try.
Cupping his hands to his mouth, he sucked in a huge lungful of air and then let it all loose in the loudest bellow he could manage. “BURNING SOL!”
When the echoes died away, silence dropped for a moment. Then a dog started barking, and something crashed in an alley down below. He could hear angry shouts from the building under him. Daniel started to blush. This was absolutely a crazy idea. Why had he agreed to it?
Moments passed. Then minutes. Cold didn’t bother him so much after the change, but even he was starting to get chilly up here in this wind. Should he shout again? Probably not. It obviously didn’t work the first time, and he’d just be waking more people up. With a heavy sigh, Daniel jumped down to a lower level of the roof and almost landed right on Burning Sol.
“Whoa!” the helmeted man exclaimed as he executed a perfect backflip to get out of Daniel’s way, “What’s the rush, big guy?”
Daniel goggled at the masked hero as relief flooded through him. His heart had stopped for a moment as he almost crushed the very man he was looking for. The realization hit him now that Sol was safe. Alongside the fact that the the ridiculous display he had put on had actually worked, it made him feel almost weak.
“Burning Sol!” he managed.
“That’s me. Heard you were calling for me, Hopper,” the other hero flashed a winning smile underneath his visor. In the night breeze on top of the building, Burning Sol’s red cape fluttered like a flame. Was this what a real hero looked like? Daniel shook his head to dispel the thoughts. There were more important things to discuss.
“It’s Numbskull,” he said, “She’s been kidnapped and-”
“And you need to figure out where they’ve taken her huh?” Sol cocked his head for a moment as though realizing something, “Numbskull is a she? Huh. Not important, but I wouldn’t have thought. Anyway, you’ve come to the right hero!” He stuck his chest out and pointed a thumb at it.
Daniel allowed himself a small smile in return, “Thanks, we were hoping we could count on you. After you figured out where Caduceus was last time…”
“It’s not really me, you know,” Sol said, tapping the side of his helmet with one finger, “I’ve got a friend with eyes in the sky, you might say. I’d introduce you, but he’s pretty shy. Maybe later, once your friend is safe.”
“Then you know…?”
“Yep, he started working it out as soon as you asked. Let’s not waste any more time.”
Daniel was practically jumping with excited energy at this point. Burning Sol sure did work fast. “The others of the B.S.A. are down at the bottom here. Let’s meet up with them,” he said.
The other man swung his arm wide toward the edge of the building. “After you.”
Numbskull stifled a metaphorical yawn. How long had it been now? An hour? Two?
She had been worried at first when the man, Magnus, sat down and started reading incantations out of her spellbook. That feeling had rapidly turned to delight when none of them did a thing. Now she was just bored. She felt an odd urge to correct the man. To tell him that he was trying to lift an illusion spell when what was affecting her was actually nothing like that. When she was Numbskull, she didn’t just *look* like a skeleton. She was a skeleton all the way down to her bones.
“Are you done yet?” Amber complained. She looked as bored as Numbskull felt.
Magnus tore through the pages of the grimoire feverishly, “No… no… It should be working! Why isn’t it working?”
Numbskull dropped her jaw and waggled her head as she stuck an imaginary tongue out at him.
“Isn’t that what you wanted Edda White for in the first place?” his assistant, or partner, or whatever Amber was chimed in, “To show you how to work some of these spells?”
“The complex spells, with reagents, yes!” Magnus snapped, “Not something as simple as this!”
“Why would she know that, anyway?”
“I have… agents within the White Manor. They have seen her practicing spells when she believes no one is looking.”
Numbskull felt a metaphorical blush flood her skull. She thought she’d been careful enough, but it seemed some of her nighttime excursions to the library hadn’t been as clandestine as she’d hoped.
“So, what do we do about it?” Amber asked. It was just her and Magnus in the room now; the goon had gone. Numbskull hoped it was to get more cheese snacks. Wherever her stomach was right now, it was starting to complain.
“I don’t know. I must think. Watch her!” Magnus pointed an accusing finger at Numbskull, his eyes showing a lot more hatred than she really thought was necessary. With a twitch of his cape, he stood and tucked the grimoire under one arm before storming out of the room.
“That idiot,” Amber sighed, “I’d just leave him to it if I thought he’d survive a day without me.”
Numbskull cocked her skull toward the woman. Was she lucky enough to be a party to this girl’s monologue? Maybe she’d reveal their evil plans. It was better than listening to “Maggie” bumble through spells, at least.
“He’s my cousin, you know. Always was a bit of a kook. Gave me this a while ago,” she held up her hand. For the first time Numbskull was able to get a good look at the magical device wrapped around her arm. It looked most like a set of rings, tied with glittering silver chains to a white stone set in the center of her hand. The whole thing was secured with a bracelet that went around her wrist. It appeared as though it could be slipped on like a glove, but probably wasn’t too comfortable to wear.
“When I use it, well,” she cast a glance toward Numbskull’s indulgent grin, “It’s like all my emotions are sucked right out of my head. It’s a cold feeling, and I don’t like it but… it does give me such power.”
Amber had a gleam in her eyes now as she looked at the device on her hand, and Numbskull decided she didn’t like it at all. She fiddled with the wire binding her arms. Yes. Yes, these knots were definitely tied with a fully-fleshed human in mind. If she twisted just a little…
Amber shook her head, “But then I almost killed that woman in the park. It was like that little voice in your head that tells you to stop doing something just wasn’t there. Honestly, I’m a little grateful to you for smacking me on the head. I needed it.”
Numbskull paused in her stealthy escape. If she had eyebrows, she would have raised them.
“I’m not so sure about Magnus’ plan these days. He says that for magic to be accepted, for people like us who use it to have a place in society, the whole world has to be shaken up.”
Numbskull was nodding now, trying to subconsciously urge Amber’s monologue on. This was good stuff!
“He’s probably right about that, but even I’m not sure what he’s really planning. He says that since magic caused the rise of ‘super heroes’, we have to be super villains to break the status quo. Did you know he made us come up with names? Mine’s going to be Deadhand. Sounds cool, right? Like a metal band or something.”
Numbskull nodded in agreement. That was pretty cool.
“Do you know what he chose?” Amber scoffed, “‘Magus Cromwell’. Can you believe it? It’s literally one letter away from his real name. Nobody’s going to figure that one out.”
That was something to make a mental note of, for certain.
The other woman sighed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I don’t even know if you can hear me without any ears. Even if not, I’m sorry for what it’s worth. I’ve told you way too much to let you go now.”
She stood up, and started for the door.
“I don’t know what Magnus has planned for you, but I’ll try to make sure it’s not too painful.”
With a click and a thud, the door closed, leaving Numbskull alone in the room. This was the chance she’d been waiting for. Squeezing her bony digits closer and closer together, she slid her hands easily free of the wire and stood up. Her legs were still bound to the chair, but that was easily fixed by slipping out of the skeleton costume.
When she was finally free, she turned around and picked up the costume’s cheap skull mask before setting it back on top of the ensemble still tied in place. That ought to keep them guessing.
Daniel hit the brakes a bit too hard and the van skidded to a halt just outside a house that looked just like any other building lining this dark suburban road. The streetlights here were far apart, and it was difficult to see any details in the gloom outside. He turned off the vehicle and cut power to the headlights, as though the screech of the wheels hadn’t already announced their arrival.
“Are you sure it’s here?” he asked, twisting around to look at the two passengers in the rear seats.
Burning Sol tapped the side of his helmet and smiled. “Positive,” he said.
“Burning Sol’s intel is good, I’m sure of it. He’s famous for always being first on the scene of a crime!” Bethany enthused from beside him. She had already gotten his autograph more than once on the trip over here and still looked more than a little starstruck.
“What do we do now?” Annie asked from the passenger seat, “It’s not very heroic to just kick down the door and march inside.”
“I guess we could keep watch,” Daniel mused.
“Stakeouts are a common tool in the pro hero’s kit,” Burning Sol agreed, “But I don’t know if we have that kind of time.”
“I didn’t bring my sunglasses anyway,” Daniel muttered.
“What was that?”
“Nothing, don’t worry about it. Any other ideas?”
“Have you considered just knocking on the door?” Beth asked.
“They’ll just have to look out the window and see a seven-foot-tall man with rabbit ears to know who it is. Sol isn’t much better off. Don’t suppose we can ask you to take that helmet off?”
“No can do,” the hero held up a hand in apology, “Revealing your secret identity for something like this is a rookie mistake.”
“Heh, yeah,” Daniel scratched his arm guiltily.
“I’ll do it then,” Annie said, already unbuckling her seatbelt.
“Annie, no, it’s dangerous,” he began, but his wife was already giving him a withering look.
“I’m the only one who hasn’t been on the news lately. Even Beth has been doing interviews. There should be no way for them to know who I am.”
“But-” Daniel began to object. He was halted by a firm hand on his shoulder from behind.
“Your wife is right, Hopper,” Burning Sol affirmed, “She’s our best bet for getting information without starting a fight.”
“Not right away, at least,” Annie opened the car door and dropped to the ground. She tossed Daniel’s top hat back to him and pulled off the fake mustache. “Take care of that, alright?”
“Well, it is mine,” Daniel said, but she was already gone, walking up the driveway.
He watched with worried anticipation as his wife reached the door, rang the doorbell, and waited impatiently. A few minutes that felt like far longer passed without anything happening, then the door finally opened. Standing in the portal, a tall man with slick black hair towered over her with an expression of anger on his sharp features.
The featureless room had turned out to be a garage, of all things. Now that Numbskull was out, this seemed like an ordinary family home somewhere in the suburbs. Had the villains been stupid enough to keep her in their own home, or was this somewhere just rented for the nefarious occasion? Judging by the lack of decorations or keepsakes lying around, Numbskull guessed the latter.
She got lost a few times, but fortunately it seemed like neither Amber nor the other goon were around anymore. Magnus had almost happened upon her a few times, but she managed to skitter under a bed or slip into a closet until he’d gone away. This time she had made another wrong turn and ended up in a room that seemed equal parts bedchambers and workshop. There were a few loose papers scattered around on the desk. She checked that no magi were creeping up behind her before taking a look.
These were certainly interesting. Maps, almost all of them. Maps of the city, or specific buildings. Some of them had circles and sigils drawn on them in places, while others had the same symbols crossed out. Numbskull recognized a few of those patterns from the spells she hadn’t dared try to cast herself. Summoning spells that the grimoires said would call demons or worse into this world. That wasn’t good.
Trying to be as quiet as possible, she scooped up all of the maps into her boney arms and carefully stashed them in the tiny extradimensional space she used for her whiteboard. It was a tight fit, and some of them would be coming out all crumpled, but that seemed like a reasonable sacrifice in the circumstances.
Sneaking back outside the room, Numbskull was careful to pad across the carpet as much as possible. She knew from experience that her skinless feet made a terrible clicking and clacking racket on any hard floor. This was a stairway, and beyond it a living room with a battered old couch and an equally ancient TV. There! That had to be the door. Numbskull grinned to herself. Some kind of villains these were if they were going to let her escape so easily.
As though in answer to her thoughts, the door suddenly erupted out with the rapping of someone knocking loudly from outside. The sound nearly made her jump out of her skin. Figuratively of course. Numbskull had the presence of mind to dive behind the couch, and landed with a graceful roll. Wasn’t this exciting? Sure enough, after a few minutes of repeated knocking, Magnus himself showed up to answer the door.
Peering over the furniture’s ruined leather back, Numbskull watched as Magus Cromwell cursed to himself, flicked his cape angrily, and opened the door. When she saw who was behind it, her sockets veritably widened in surprise. That was Hopper’s wife! In that case the big rabbit would be around somewhere himself, and he’d be her ticket to freedom.
“What is this? Who are you?” Magnus demanded, glaring down his angular nose at Annie.
“Oh, er, I’m sorry. We’re looking for a friend of ours, and thought she was around this neighborhood,” she replied. Annie was a smart woman, Numbskull knew, and she kept her eyes steady on the man before her. Numbskull nearly believed the story herself. Even so, if the rescue party didn’t find anything and just left, she’d be out of luck. Carefully, and quietly, she snuck around the sofa and began creeping out behind Magnus.
“That’s what you’re bothering me with so late at night? Begone with you!” the man said with an angry wave of his hand. He tried to slam the door, but at some point Annie had gotten her foot in just the right place to stop it.
“Are you sure?” she asked with a plantative tone, “Even if she didn’t come here, our friend is very… unique looking. You’d remember it if you saw her.”
Numbskull scuttled right into Annie’s field of view, behind Magnus’ back, and fished around for her whiteboard. If she had lungs, she would have cursed as she realized it was still back at the manor. Lacking any better options, she raised a thin finger to her jawbone and looked meaningfully at the woman in the door.
“What are you looking at?” Magnus asked sharply, having noticed the other’s gaze wander to where Numbskull stood behind him. He began to turn, but was stopped as Annie grabbed his cloak.
“Nothing!” she exclaimed, a bit too quickly, “Nothing. Er…”
Magnus was glaring at her now. Numbskull could feel the heat of rage in his gaze on Annie even from where she stood behind him.
“Is this velvet?” Annie asked, in a vain attempt to defuse the situation.
The sound of a van door slamming came from outside, and Magnus raised his hand. Numbskull realized in a moment that this was the best chance she’d get. Sprinting forward, she jumped on the wizard’s back and wrapped her bony fingers around his face. Making sure to poke him in the eyes as much as possible, she even managed to wiggle a few digits into his nose as he screamed and spun around madly.
With the kind of presence of mind that Numbskull was coming to expect from her, Annie quickly and inexpertly swept at Magnus’ legs. It was a clumsy move, but with everything else happening, it was more than enough to send both of them tumbling to the ground in a tangled heap. Of course, having none of those pesky muscles or organs to slow her down, Numbskull was the first to her feet. She bounded quickly out the door.
Annie was already running, and Numbskull nearly collided with Hopper as he ran up the path to him. She settled instead with scrambling up his side and onto his back, finger bones finding purchase on his shoulders.
This was all happening far too quickly for Daniel’s liking. First Annie had nearly gotten struck by that evil wizard-looking man who had opened the door. He’d started moving as soon as she touched his cape and it became obvious the situation was escalating. Then, Numbskull had come from somewhere in the house, brought the costumed madman down, and bounded out like a dog eager to go for a walk. Now, she was on his back, Annie was racing for the van, and the caped man was slowly getting to his feet.
Daniel could feel the anger radiating off of the wizard like heat. No… it really was hotter in the air, and were that man’s eyes glowing? Not wanting to stick around and see what was to happen next, Daniel turned and prepared to leap, bending his knees and ducking down. Just as he was about to push off again, something huge, red, and hissing like a thousand bees shot just above his head and singed the hair on his ears.
A blazing ball of solid fire, streaking through the night air like a comet, hit the van straight on. Daniel had to abort his jump and shield his eyes as the vehicle lit up and erupted with an explosive plume up into the sky. Annie was far enough away that she didn’t get burnt, but the force of the blast sent her sprawling to the ground on the lawn.
Before he even really knew what he was doing, Daniel was moving. He reached his wife in a couple of bounds, then scooped her off the overgrown grass and under one arm. She was still breathing, and conscious, but her eyes were a little unfocused and she didn’t seem to be in a condition to speak at the moment. Daniel was about to call out to her, but his world suddenly flipped upside down, twisted sideways, and he felt like he had dropped a hundred feet in less than a second. The sensation, like a vicious blast of vertigo, sent him stumbling to the side. The jerky movement put him just out of the path of the second fireball.
As the projectile splashed into the ground ahead of him and lit the grass on fire, Daniel put together what had happened. Numbskull had grabbed one of his ears and yanked it to the side, sending him a few halting steps to safety. She still had a grip on the thing, and the feeling radiating from it was making him nauseous. Still, she was jerking his ear insistently away from the insane, fireball-throwing man, and Daniel felt like she had a fair point.
He managed to right himself, and set off at a loping pace down the road. Something was nagging at the back of his mind, but it was quickly overwhelmed by the rush of adrenaline. The fear of having a ball of fire rocket into his back, and the horrible sensation still pounding at him from his gripped ear both dominated his thoughts.
“Bethany!” Annie shouted from under his arm. He managed to readjust her to a more comfortable position, but then lost his grip again as Numbskull jerked his ear. Daniel took a few staggering steps to the side, narrowly avoiding another deadly spell. He wasn’t usually one to curse very often, but he sure felt like doing so right now. As he desperately tried to regain his balance, he managed to shout out a response.
“We have to go without her!” Daniel’s big feet skidded on the pavement as he finally managed another leap and put some distance between himself and the burning van, “She was with Burning Sol, right? We’ve just got to believe that he got her out in time!”
At the end of the street, red and blue lights were flashing up into the night sky. That was a welcome sight, and a spark of hope started to mingle with the sheer panic in Daniel’s chest. He bent his legs for one more leap and-
Suddenly, Daniel was tumbling through the air backwards, his head rushing toward the asphalt at an uncomfortably high speed. Numbskull, that idiot skeleton, had yanked up on one of his ears right as he was lifting off. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, praying that Annie would be alright. Rather than the impact he was expecting, however, he found himself lifted even higher in the air by a shockwave as a fireball exploded beneath him with a sound like “Whump!”
Now sailing through the night air at an incredible height, Daniel managed to get his bearings and right himself. Two police cars shot below him and another screeched to a halt as he tumbled to the ground and landed awkwardly. He took a few clumsy steps before he realized he was still on his feet. The strength of his impact cracked the road under him, and the nearby police car rocked back for a moment before its door shot open and an irate Officer Aguado stepped out.
“Hopper!” he cried, “What in the name of all that is holy is going on here?!”
“We uh… Magic… Fire… We found Numbskull!” Daniel managed. His throat was dry as a bone and speaking was difficult. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure if that was because of the panic of the situation or the flames that had been close enough to burn his whiskers just a moment earlier.
“Fire. Yeah, I see a lot of fire. You want to tell me what that’s all about?”
Daniel coughed, and then set Annie down, who staggered to her own feet. “It’s… sorry Officer, I’m having trouble…”
“Good grief,” Aguado said, then turned and rummaged around in his car for a moment before returning with Numbskull’s whiteboard and tossing it to her. “Here. Maybe you can tell me what’s going on before things get even worse.”
The radio strapped to his chest crackled to life. “Sarge! There’s nothing here but a lot of burnt grass and a van. We’re checking out the house now.”
“You won’t find anything there, I bet,” Numbskull wrote.
“So now it’s too late,” he ground his teeth, “Great. Alright. You two had better come with me.”
With a few dazed nods and affirmations, Daniel and his wife squeezed into Officer Aguado’s cruiser. As Numbskull followed, something was still nagging at the edges of Daniel’s mind. This probably wasn’t the best time to ask but, well, he doubted there would be a good time in the near future for any of them.
“How,” he began, as the skeleton clambered in and sat down on the faded leather seat, “How did you manage to draw that scene on the whiteboard while you were being kidnapped?”
Numbskull just stared at him for a moment, sockets seeming bottomless in the dim light of the streetlamps. There was something there, some emotion Daniel felt sure he just wasn’t grasping, and maybe never would. Finally, she produced the selfsame whiteboard and got to work, marker squeaking out a response.
