Dear Diary,
I am writing on the first day of the week this time. My secretary (who I'm starting to question where exactly they came from) has informed me that I have yet to explain why I will not kill myself.
So let me do that.
I'm not a fucking coward. I'm not just going to back down from a challenge like this. I will just... well, you know, gladly submit to anyone who wishes to take me out of it. But I won't do it myself. I have to set an example. If a major figure kills themselves, suicide rates spike. Especially in young teens. Do you know what would happen if I did that? My conscience would haunt me for the rest of eternity in Hell.
Oh, also I found out something else. Apparently, some piece of shit cursed the Grand Wizards. So all of us are doomed to live in Hell when we die! Not Heaven, even if we're goddamn saints. We've all got some special place in Hell with our names on it.
Y'now though, that actually sounds comfortable. No paperwork, no secretary to deal with. Sounds nice. Maybe add that as another reason why I want to die.
Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,
Felonius Questus
