Dear Diary,
I'm sick of these weekly entries. I'm doing monthly entries now. If any of you have a problem with that, come kill me. I'm waiting!
My secretary has advised me against this, but guess what I did? I fired my goddamn secretary! Y'know why? I looked into it, because I had wondered where this secretary came from. Guess where?
Yeah, that's right! Nowhere! They just... showed up... and claimed to be my secretary. They're just a random person from... wait for it... Yirthum! Yeah, Yirthum. That's right. The worst village. Straight up.
Anyway, I fired them. Hopefully, that'll come to bite me in the ass later. I mean, if they kill me, I would not complain. But... I guess they aren't special in that regard.
Also, I found the piece of shit that killed the poor sailor. Turns out this sailor was killed by their ex-girlfriend. That sucks. Wasn't even someone who was trying to get to me through them, it was just a personal problem. Now what am I gonna do?
I asked if they wanted to kill me too, and they said no. Do you believe the nerve? The Grand Wizard is asking you for one small favor, and you say no? This generation is so privileged, I can't believe it. Hopefully one of them will man up and finally kill me one of these days.
Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,
Felonius Questus
