Dear Diary,
I decided to go to the one place where food is everywhere. The Culinary school, on one of the Tortle's Abral Islands.
I called it a diplomatic mission and used my sway as Grand Wizard (as well as one of the months off I had before school started again) to take the trip. And Oh. My. Gods.
That food was incredible. I took a bite of the corn dog they made me... I felt like I was in Heaven.
And I wish I was. Like, this entire trip made me just want to be done with it all. Get a chance to relax, not have to worry about my damn students. I mean, I thought I'd be able to relax on my trip, but no... no. A Lizardfolk student of mine was there. And he insisted on traveling with me.
Do you know what it's like on a boat with a water mage? Let's just say, I think even going to Hell would be better. He insisted on rocking the boat back and forth as we went, and any time a big wave came, he would counterbalance it with... a bigger wave on the other side.
He would also make fake sea monsters with the water off the edge of the ship and try and scare me with it. Little does he know, I'm not scared of death. I'm just... scared of creatures with a lot of teeth. Yeah, that's why I wet myself. Definitely.
Do you know what Lizardfolk eat? I didn't either, and we get there and he tells me that he doesn't have a favorite food! And I think, "Ok, that's weird, but it's not that bad. He'll just pick something."
He did not pick something. He ordered one of everything. And he was on my tab, since he was visiting with me as my student.
Our table nearly buckled under the weight of all the food he ordered. We got a lot of weird stares (including my own stare) but he didn't care. He went ham on eating that shit.
I found out later that it's because, back in Lizardfolk territory, he struggles to find enough food to eat. Because of the situation the Lizardfolk are in, always on the verge of death, food is not very prevalent. They eat only enough to survive, military rations, so an all-you-can-eat buffet was a dream come true.
You may be asking why I let him eat on my tab. The answer is simple, I didn't want to look bad for leaving a kid on the street hungry. But then I take him there and I get called "generous" and "a philanthropist." I am not. I just want to die. I'm broke...
Needless to say, I left the Abral Islands before anyone could find out I was out of money, and I headed back to Zephys. That being said, if anyone finds out, I'll gladly be waiting for them.
Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,
Felonius Questus
