Dear Diary,
This is the start of my weekly entries, rather than daily. I'll be honest. I'm disappointed that I am able to write this entry today. I hoped this entire week that some Dragonborn would stab me while I was walking the streets before I could write it.
But no. They love it. They love that I don't mind walking the streets. They call me "a man of the people!" No! I'm not a man of anyone! I just want to die!
Anyway, the week started with a run-in at the bakery with a thief. Now, you know I want to die. But you also probably know of my love of baked goods. I couldn't just let this thief steal from the bakery down the road! So I killed him.
Y'know, that carrot cake I ate afterward had the most bittersweet taste. I was happy to have saved the poor woman working at the bakery and seen her smile and say "Thanks Grand Wizard!" But at the same time, that was my chance to die! Damn it.
The next day, I took a trip on a boat. I recruited the most inexperienced captain I possibly could. But the minute I get out on the open ocean, this captain falls to her knees and starts thanking me! She says no one ever gives her the chance to show what she can do, which is why people think she's inexperienced. Then she says she has more knowledge of these seas than any of the other captains! She just never brought anyone along!
Here I thought I was taking the most inexperienced sailor, but this is an entire crew in one person! Just my goddamn luck! Now I look altruistic for giving her a chance! But it's fine... at least this poor sailor will get traffic now that the Grand Wizard sailed on her boat.
I got back yesterday, which means I had no other opportunities to die. FML.
Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,
Felonius Questus
