Dear Diary,
I have been told that I forgot to write an entry for last week. I told my secretary (I didn't know I had one of those until yesterday by the way) that I definitely did last week.
I did not.
Turns out I thought last week and the week before... were the same week. That's my bad. I... I messed up, ok? The weeks are just... blending together at this point. Like, I closed my eyes two days ago, and I'm fairly certain I didn't wake up until 6 P.M. today. That's TWO DAYS! NO ONE TRIED TO KILL ME! I WAS ASLEEP TWO DAYS, AND I'M STILL ALIVE!
On another note, I woke up to a carrot cake. I don't know who left it here, but I happily ate it.
It wasn't poisoned. Biggest disappointment of the week. Someone was just actually being nice. Can they stop that? Do I have the authority to tell them to stop that?
Other than that, nothing big happened this week. Dwarven King died apparently, that's a big event since they normally live to be like... 700 years old or whatever. This guy... he was only 500! All the newspapers are saying how he was so young... if I somehow live to be 500, and people still say I'm young... I may actually break my rule and kill myself with my own hands. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,
Felonius Questus
